


You Can Leave Your Hat On

by badwolfbadwolf



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: (not between Joe and Nicky), Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bottom Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Boys In Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, It's very sweet too, Jealousy, M/M, Power Dynamics, Temporary Character Death, Top Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:14:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28531284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfbadwolf/pseuds/badwolfbadwolf
Summary: Joe is a new stripper and Nicky is his (secretly immortal) boss.  It's a bit of fun and flirting, but Nicky is Joe'sbossand he's not sure anything's ever going to happen.  Then one day Joe gets mugged in the back alley and things get… complicated.Written for The Old Guard minibang 2020, with fantastic stripper!Joe art by lemon-yellow!
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 96
Kudos: 238
Collections: The Old Guard Mini Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the fantastically talented [lemon-yellow](http://lemon-yellow.tumblr.com)! Please give them a shout because they are amazing!
> 
> One million gazillion thanks are owed to ssleif for being a great beta, cheerleader, and friend, and without whom all my fic would not be possible, for realsies.
> 
> Please read the tags. I have tagged some things that won't occur in this chapter but will in future ones to give fair warning, notably the tag about attempted sexual assault not between Joe and Nicky, which is not in this chapter and I’ll warn again when that comes up. Obviously this fic is not a representation of reality and I do not claim anything depicted here is healthy or appropriate for the real world. If it seems like anything here may possibly not be your thing, please hit the back button.
> 
> This fic is about 94% done and will be posted in pretty quick succession here. 💖
> 
> The title is from the song [You Can Leave Your Hat On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfgwrdYUQ2A) by Joe Cocker (originally [Etta James](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSmdT1Si4bo)).

Joe pulled his bag over his shoulder more tightly, a bit of nerves twisting in his stomach as he walked up the back steps to the club and pulled open the large, metal door. He’d only been here once before for his “interview” which had just been an ancient woman with a cigarette holding up sequined underwear to him and asking him about his workout routine and if he was shy in front of an audience. He was, but he needed the money so he’d tried to nod and say what was needed, and it was good enough for him to be invited back tonight on a “trial basis.”

He rounded the corner of the dark hallway, walking into the back room that he’d been in before, relieved that it was mostly empty. Quynh was in the corner with a flask and a sandwich on her lap, and was carefully applying eyeliner in the lighted mirror. She smiled at Joe’s reflection when she caught sight of him, stopping to turn and pat him on the shoulder.

“Hey, you showed up,” Quynh said easily, pulling out the stool next to her so Joe could take a seat. “Wasn’t sure if you would.”

Joe swallowed, because he’d been unsure of that, too. He and Quynh had been friends for only a short amount of time, and after Joe was convinced Quynh was hitting on him at the gym only to later laugh off her offers of coming to learn how to strip with her did they become fast friends. And Joe had needed a job, taking more classes so his loans wouldn’t come due, but the interest and rent and life in general was racking up and he could feel himself slowly drowning under that weight.

“Tonight you’re just watching,” Quynh said, turning back to the mirror to work on the eyeliner on her other eye. “You can meet everyone and see what it’s like. They won’t just throw you to the dogs on the first night.”

Joe grimaced a little. “Alright.”

They looked up as a few others came into the room, laughing raucously with their bags hitched over their shoulders like Joe’s had been. When they saw Joe they stopped short, obviously sizing him up. Joe crossed his arms self-consciously.

“New meat,” the one said to the other.

“The boss will like him,” the second said, and the two smirked at each other.

“Fuck off,” Quynh said, capping her pencil and turning to give the two a stare. They laughed again, heading off to the corner to begin shucking off layers of clothing.

“They’re alright,” Quynh said. “Once you get to know them. But just ignore everyone’s shit. You won’t survive here if you don’t have a tough skin.”

Joe nodded, knowing this. He wasn’t expecting easy money and he wasn’t afraid to work hard for it.

“Yeah, alright,” he said. 

Quynh stood, nodding her head at the door to indicate Joe should follow him. “C’mon, I’ll show you around before the doors open up.”

They walked to the main room, the lights only half-dimmed this early in the evening, and Joe scanned the place, taking it in. There was a bar on the far side with high padded seats and a woman with dark, tightly braided hair behind it, semi-private booths lining the other side, and many seats with tables surrounding a stage with a short walkway that protruded out. On the main stage were two stripper poles with a few people doing warm-up stretches around, and some unknown and unnecessarily loud disco music playing over the speakers. 

Quynh introduced him around— the woman at the bar was named Nile, and she only nodded at him; a few of the dancers were a little more friendly, but Joe wasn’t here to make friends.

Quynh finally settled Joe into a seat and went to get him a beer, setting it down with a thunk on the table in front of him. “Have a few to loosen you up. It’s a good time, if you let it be, and not get stuck in your head.”

Joe nodded, taking a sip of the beer and letting the crispness roll over his tongue. “Thank you.” He smiled at Quynh wanly, because Quynh was a good friend, but Joe definitely needed to be a bit drunker to get over his nerves. Quynh clapped him on the back again and then was off, leaving Joe alone in the room with a few other employees as he waited. 

He sipped his beer, glancing around, looking at his phone for the time, his eyes being caught by a man who walked up to the bar and was immediately given a lowball tumbler filled halfway with brown liquid. The man was tall, with a sharp nose and dark brown hair that hung loose around his eyes and was short in the back, and a soft, barely there beard. He was dressed in a well-tailored dove grey suit with the jacket removed and nowhere to be seen. His sleeves were rolled up revealing some nicely muscled forearms, and as the man turned to look at him as if sensing he was being watched, Joe immediately averted his eyes and took a sip of his beer. Whoever he was was, he was _attractive_ and Joe really didn’t need to be looking right now. He was supposed to be observing and learning. And staying out of trouble. He briefly wondered to himself if the man worked here as well, because who else would be here right now, but also, what could this person possibly do here that necessitated a suit?

Joe shrugged to himself and let his attention be taken away by the commotion on stage of things being set, the start of opening time drawing closer. It wasn’t long until the doors opened and a slow trickle of patrons came in, sitting at the bar and at chairs around him, waiting for the entertainment to begin.

When it was beginning to get rather crowded Joe looked around, deciding he should give up his prime spot to one of the paying patrons, and sidled over to the bar. He asked for another beer and was given the same by the same dark haired bartender, and Joe moved to the bar stool furthest back to give everyone else more room. As he moved to the end corner he stopped short when he saw that the attractive man from earlier was there, speaking quietly into his phone in what Joe was guessing was Italian. When he saw Joe he gave him a raised eyebrow and then glanced away, barking something out and then abruptly hanging up.

Joe swallowed down some more beer, glancing at the polished bar top, feeling awkward. Then the man cleared his throat.

“Pardon my phone manners,” the man said with a slight accent, smiling crookedly. It made him a million times more attractive, which was unfair because he already was quite attractive. He was even better looking close up; Joe could see his eyes were icy blue-grey, set off nicely by the color of his suit, though the lights were now dimmer. 

“So do you work here, too?” Joe asked, trying not to be too obvious with his fishing but feeling a blush rise on his cheeks.

The man gave him a look that made Joe feel like he was missing something, but he smiled again, and it was softer this time. “Yes,” he said, simply. Then he looked up and caught the bartender's eye, and was immediately served another lowball. “Would you like another?”

Joe was already on his second beer and shook his head. “I’m supposed to be paying attention. Wouldn’t do to get drunk and flirty instead of doing my job.”

The man smiled, taking a sip. “No, I suppose not.”

Joe realized he had mentioned the word flirting and laughed a little to himself, embarrassed, but a bit pleased that the other had seemed a little flirty back. At least, he thought so. He was only slightly buzzed, so he didn’t think he was that far off the mark. He smiled a little, taking another sip and then licking his lips, catching the way the other man watched the motion from beneath his long eyelashes.

“I’m Joe,” Joe said, sticking out his hand, and the other grabbed and shook it solidly, his hand cool from the glass.

“Nicky. It is nice to meet you.”

Joe smiled, feeling himself flush again as their hands remained connected, and then Nicky was letting go, taking a sip again.

“So what do you—“ Joe began, but the lights suddenly dimmed further and the music swelled and then grew quiet. Joe smiled sheepishly at Nicky and then turned, letting his attention be drawn up to the stage where performers were being introduced. The first was someone Joe hadn’t seen before, an athletic man in a white tank top and a sparkling smile. He knew Quynh wasn’t up for a little bit.

Joe kicked back the rest of his beer, settling in to watch the show. The crowd was raucous tonight; it was a Saturday and still early, but people were clearly into their cups after the wait for the show to begin. Joe watched and sipped water, taking it all in, and occasionally glancing surreptitiously at Nicky who was still seated nearby but was now frowning at his phone and not paying any attention at all to the proceedings surrounding him.

He did look up to smile at Joe occasionally, and about half an hour later he stood to excuse himself.

“Nice to meet you,” he said easily, and Joe nodded back, feeling nerves swirl in his stomach again. Wow, the man was good looking. Joe would need to be careful and stay focused; he didn’t want to lose this job over trying to get some dick.

“You, too,” Joe said over the loud music. He’d probably need to invest in some ear plugs if he was going to stay here long. “Maybe I’ll see you around?”

“I’d like that,” Nicky said, pocketing his phone and smiling sharply. Then he turned and was gone, and Joe tried not to stare too much at the way the perfectly tailored pants showed off an absolutely divine ass. Nicky certainly didn’t seem like the type to be stripping (though did Joe?), and Joe briefly wondered about what the man did here that he was so tight-lipped about. He didn’t wonder for long though, because the song changed and Quynh was being announced, and Joe turned to the stage to watch.

By the time the entire show was finished, there were dancers spread out among the crowd, many giving private lap dances. Joe watched a pretty girl with long blonde hair grinding up on first a man and then a woman before disappearing into one of the private booths. He decided he’d seen most of what he’d needed to see and headed back behind the velvet curtain that led to the backstage area.

He debated leaving then or waiting for Quynh, but he decided it was the right thing to wait. She came in a good half hour later, flushed and sweaty and in little shorts that did not cover her ass at all and completely and unashamedly topless. She was counting out bills and pushing her hair out of her eyes, grinning at Joe sitting on the dirty couch. She tossed her flask at him.

“Let’s get drunk,” she said. “C’mon, first round’s on me.” Joe took a pull on the flask, feeling the liquor burn all the way down.

“Yeah, alright,” he said.

“That’s the spirit.”

Quynh changed quickly, and they made their way out of the back room and back over to the main bar.

“So what were you talking to the boss about that whole time? He seemed interested in whatever you were selling,” Nile asked in Joe’s direction, serving them both without being asked what they wanted. Quynh had a martini glass with skewered maraschino cherries resting on the edge and Joe had another beer.

“The boss?” he said, taking a drink, confused.

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Mr. Di Genova?”

When Joe gave her a blank look she glanced to where Nicky was sitting earlier and then laughed outright.

“Nicky?” Joe said, feeling like an idiot.

“Nicolò, _‘Nico “the Mouse” di Genova.’_ Yeah. That’s the one.”

“Oh.” 

Nile burst out laughing and Joe looked between her and Quynh, his face heating again.

“What’d you say to him? What’d _he_ say to you?”

“Not much,” Joe said, swallowing hard.

“Be careful, there,” Nile said, though she was looking off to the side at the girl with the long blonde hair Joe had noticed earlier. “Take care of him,” she said to Quynh.

“More drinks,” Quynh said, and Joe threw back another large swig. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Joe said, slamming his down and motioning for another.

Later they stumbled to the curb, Nile slamming the door on them, and Joe laying on Quynh the entire way home. He was shoved out when he got to his stop, feeling good but dazed, and he managed to get into his apartment and climb into his bed, fully clothed. He tried not to think too much about Nicky and his gorgeous suit and what he would look like as he was peeled out of it, but was completely unsuccessful. He ended the night jerking it quickly to what was his new boss, making a mess of his hand and pants, and too tired to really care about it. That was a problem for morning Joe, and right now Joe just needed to sleep it all off.

***

Joe woke with a headache the size of a bus and dragged himself from his bed and into the bathroom to splash water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, frowning at the reddened eyes and hair that was sticking every which way. He’d seen better days, certainly. He scrubbed his hand over his face before forcing himself into a quick shower. After two cups of coffee he felt slightly more human, and he glanced at the time to note that he was already late for what was supposed to be a workout session, lunch, and then practice at the club. He sent a quick text to Quynh apologizing that he was running late before throwing on a backwards hat to cover his mess of curly hair, and hightailing out of his apartment and down to the bus stop.

He glanced at his watch, deciding to skip the gym in favor of a brief run and then head straight to lunch, and when he got there Quynh was already there sipping a smoothie, her hair pulled back in a long, neat ponytail and looking perfectly put together and not horrendously hung over like Joe was.

“Pull yourself together, friend,” she said to Joe as she grinned at him and crunched into her chips. Joe grimaced, his head still aching, but accepting the pickle she handed to him before heading up to the counter to place his own order of a gigantic coffee and a burrito the size of his head.

An hour later and Quynh was talking his ear off about the new routine they were working on and how Joe needed to learn this and that. He nodded along, not really following, his thoughts drifting to Nicky last night and he bit his lip and flushed when Quynh finally noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

“Come on Joe,” she said quickly, crumpling up her sandwich wrapper and tossing it into the trash. “At least pretend like you’re listening to me.”

“Sorry, I’m trying,” Joe said with a grin back as they walked out.

They headed to the club in companionable silence, and Joe kept his round sunglasses on the entire walk over. They were his favorite and he thought they looked kind of nice on him and also this way he could protect his poor, hungover brain.

They walked into the back room again and dropped their bags. There was no need to change today, this was just a practice, but Joe stripped off his sweat-shirt and dropped it on his duffel, leaving him in only a white tank top and some cuffed blue sweats that were pushed up to his knees. He was a bit sweaty from his earlier run but didn’t think anyone would mind; he would definitely take a shower before the show.

“Alright, now here’s some basics,” Quynh said as she made Joe stand in place with her well-manicured hands at his hips once they'd gotten out to the main room. She stalked around him in high heels, demonstrating an expert hair flip and body roll, ending with her ass pressed into his groin. “It’s all about the roll— here, start from your hips--yes that’s it. Very good.”

Joe beamed, pleased to be catching the hang of things. He’d always been a good dancer; he’d even been enrolled in ballet up until he started getting teased for it in middle school, and had always kept it up for a bit of fitness. They worked for a good hour, Joe breaking out into a sweat again, his white shirt beginning to stick to his back a bit so he pulled it off, jumping onto the pole as he’d seen a few others do and taking a little swing around it to see how well his arms would hold up. It was _fun_ , the joy of exertion running through his muscles, and he knew he had some work to do to really get it down, but it was a challenge he was looking forward to.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/189519987@N03/50794414523/in/dateposted-public/)

Growing tired after a bit, he scrubbed his hand over his face, threw his shirt back on, and grabbed his water bottle, sitting down for a few moments to watch some of the others working on their routines. Movement in the back of the room caught his eye and Joe immediately flushed when he recognized Nicky there, talking to a tall woman with short, dark hair and an impeccable pantsuit. Nicky looked up and met his eyes after a moment and Joe felt his cheeks turn a deeper shade of red and glanced away quickly.

“Alright, newbie,” called one of the other dancers, and Joe recalled that his name was Booker from yesterday. “Time to learn how to do a lap dance.”

Joe felt a bit of nerves coil in his stomach, because he wasn’t exactly nervous to do _this_ per se, but he was a bit nervous to have Nicky’s eyes on him from afar. If he was even looking at him. Joe snuck a look and saw that Nicky was back to talking with the tall woman. Well fine then. Joe gathered himself up off the stage floor and walked down the steps to stand next to Quynh and Booker in front of one of the velvet chairs.

“The rules are no touching the goods,” Booker said. “But everything else is on the table.” He pat the back of the chair, gesturing at Joe with his eyebrows.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Joe said with a spluttering laugh.

“Well get on there, move your hips, grind up against them. Put their hands on you.” Joe straddled the empty chair feeling a bit ridiculous, grabbing the top of it and sliding downwards until he was seated on it. “Yeah, kind of like that, but with a bit more of a hip roll.”

Joe tried his best to follow the instructions but it was awkward on an empty chair with so many people watching him and giving him tips.

“Here, I have an idea,” Quynh said, and she smiled deviously and then trotted off to the other side of the room. Joe watched her, his stomach slowly twisting up into a knot as she headed right for Nicky and the tall woman. Joe’s eyes widened as Quynh talked with them for a moment and then led Nicky back to them by the hand.

“Mr. Di Genova, I believe you’ve met Joe, yes?”

Joe flushed again, standing up from the chair, acutely aware that he was sweaty and in sweatpants and a backwards hat while Nicky was in a pressed navy suit and looked absolutely stunning.

Nicky smiled at him easily though, and Joe melted a bit at the way his eyes were set off from the dark color, and how beautiful his features looked now that there was just a bit more light than last evening.

“Yes, hello,” Nicky said and Joe couldn’t help but smile shyly in return.

“We need a little help here, if you wouldn’t mind, Signor. It’s hard to teach if there’s not a willing body sitting here. Would you mind playing the part for us?”

Nicky laughed, raking his hand through his hair in what looked like a nervous gesture before sitting himself down on the velvet seat. “I would not mind, no,” he said, and Joe couldn’t quite read the smile on his face but it looked a little devious, like he was maybe trying to flirt a little.

Joe felt his stomach flip again as he took a step closer, biting his lip and summoning all of his courage as he leaned in close and put his hand on the back of the chair, bringing him intimately close to Nicky’s face. Joe looked down at Nicky's collar, trying not to make eye contact as he rolled his body fluidly, moving forward to straddle Nicky’s lap. It was certainly a lot different with a body here, and definitely different because it was _Nicky’s_ body. Joe pressed forward with his hips, brushing against Nicky’s stomach and having to bite down hard on the side of his tongue to prevent any noise from escaping his mouth at that contact.

“Right, so,” Quynh was saying from next to him, snapping Joe out of whatever lust-induced haze he was under. “You can put his hands up behind his head so he can’t touch.”

Joe reached down to grab Nicky’s hands like she instructed, feeling tingly as he grabbed onto Nicky’s wrists and guided his hands above his head so he was grasping the back of the chair. It put him in a vulnerable position, his chest puffed out, and Joe felt down the man’s arms and over his pecs because he thought it was what he was supposed to do, but also because he really really wanted to see what he felt like under that suit. 

Nicky’s eyes flicked to his and they were a stormy gray, his gaze sharp, much less kind now that they were close and Joe had his hands all over him.

“Now tell him he can’t touch,” Quynh instructed and Joe had nearly forgotten she was there.

“No touching,” Joe said, rolling his hips and dropping down so his ass was brushing against Nicky’s thighs. It was a workout for his legs and he could already feel them burning from the run earlier, the practice, and now this.

“You’re supposed to be losing clothes,” Booker said, and Joe leaned back to strip off his tank top, careful to keep his hat on and biting his lip at the way Nicky raked his eyes hungrily down his torso. Joe knew he looked good, that he was gleaming with sweat covering his muscles and breathing hard. He ran his hand down his own throat, drawing a line down his chest and abs before grinding up into his own hand. He was half-hard in his sweatpants, trying to keep it together, because he really didn’t actually want to lose his job on the first day. Sure this was part of it, but part of his job was also _not_ grinding his hard cock onto his boss’s lap.

Joe slid off to give himself some space and turned around, hooking his hands into the band of his pants and slinging them down a bit as he shimmied his hips in a dirty circle. He looked over his shoulder to see Nicky obediently with his hands still placed on the chair, his eyes shimmering darkly.

Joe moved to pull the brim of his backwards hat off, and Nicky cleared his throat, making Joe’s eyes jump back up to him.

“You should leave it on,” Nicky said, voice deeper, with a tone of authority. “And take the rest off.”

Joe felt heat curl in his gut and he dropped his hand from the hat, returning to push his sweatpants down so they were sliding along the curve of his ass. Growing bold, he turned around halfway and grabbed Nicky’s hands from off the chair, placing them on his hips and sliding down with them so his pants were slung down low. The front caught on his hard dick and Joe groaned slightly, growing more and more turned on the further this went along.

Before he could get his pants the rest of the way down he was tugged backwards into Nicky’s lap so his back was pressed to Nicky’s front, his neck exposed and Nicky’s lips hovering close enough that Joe could feel his breath on his skin, and Nicky’s hands wrapped around his waist possessively.

As the music faded away and a new, slower song picked up, Joe shook himself out of his haze again to become aware that they were being watched by several people and were, in fact, in the middle of the club, in the daylight hours, and were employee and employer.

Joe cleared his throat and pulled himself off of Nicky with as much grace as he could muster, tugging his sweatpants up the rest of the way and then turned to look at Nicky with a bit of a sheepish grin, hoping he hadn’t pushed it too far.

Nicky looked a bit glazed over, though, his shirt slightly pulled out at the waist and his hair a bit of a mess. His cheeks looked a bit flushed, too.

“Was that, uh, good?” Joe asked, biting his tongue like an idiot.

“Yes,” Nicky said simply, and his devastating smile was enough to make Joe’s pulse shoot through the roof. Joe grinned back a bit, putting his hand behind his neck awkwardly and then bending down to reach for his tank top without really looking. When he picked it up and pulled it on, Quynh was talking to Nicky, moving her hands animatedly. Joe was grateful for the distraction and took the moment to pull himself together.

“I will see you later, Joe,” Nicky said when Joe turned to leave, and Joe smiled again, running his hand over the edge of the hat and smoothing his hair down. Something about the way Nicky said _Joe_ with just a slight accent made the butterflies flutter in Joe’s stomach again, and Joe’s smile widened and he nodded.

“Okay,” he said, and he suddenly felt awkward as he didn’t know if he should address him as Nicky or as Mr. Di Genova as Quynh and everyone else seemed to. “See you later.”

Nicky got up and smoothed his outfit down, looking like he didn’t have a hair out of place, and Joe had to fight to not watch him the entire way across the room until he disappeared to somewhere unknown in one of the dark corners.

“That was good for a newbie,” Booker said, and Joe grinned a bit, excited for this evening.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I think there’s a song about leaving your hat on,” Booker said, looking thoughtful. “We can make it your song for your routine.”

Joe flushed, thinking how he’d remember grinding on Nicky every single time he’d strip to it. He made a quick exit before Quynh could call him on his rosy cheeks and ask him questions about whatever the heck he was playing at with Nicky.

***

Joe was nervous as all get-up but it was his first night and he didn’t have to perform solo, his routine still needing to be put together for real. So he just got to hang out at the sides as some eye candy, not needing to work the room yet until Quynh had pronounced him “perfect.”

Still, it was a rush to come off the stage sweaty and counting out singles that had been stuffed into his little shorts.

“Drinks?” Quynh called out as Joe was changing with his back to the room, pulling on more comfortable boxers and then his sweatpants.

Joe smiled ruefully, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to make _that_ mistake every night.

“Gotta save my money,” Joe said, turning to give her a grin, patting his wallet.

She nodded at him, grinning back. “Stay out of trouble, okay?”

Joe wasn’t sure if she was talking about his previous encounter with Nicky or if it was more of just a general warning but he waved to her and to some of the others, gathering up his bag and heading for the back alley.

It was cool and the night air felt good on his sweat-slicked skin. He draped his jacket over his arm, too hot to put it on still, watching the air puff out of his lips visibly in the cold. He hummed to himself, pleased to be able to have finished something at least a little successfully, and to be earning his own way. It wasn’t enough yet to be much, but if he worked every night and started earning a bit more… he might be able to get a little bit of his loans paid off, anyways.

Joe rounded the corner of the building into the alleyway that led to the street, glancing at his phone to check the time to see if he could make the last bus back to his apartment. When he looked up he saw a man who hadn’t been there just a second ago. He immediately knew something was wrong in the way he slunk towards him, his posture menacing, reaching into his jacket slowly while Joe felt his heart stutter as the man revealed a small gun. Joe felt fear grip him fully and he stopped, knowing he should turn around or run or defend himself, but utterly unable to do anything.

The man advanced and when Joe finally was able to pull himself together enough to take a step backwards, he heard movement behind him. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed the sinking feeling in his gut; there was another one behind him.

“Wallet,” the first said, and Joe immediately dug into his pocket to fish it out, throwing it towards the man and backing up almost to the wall. The man in front of him stooped down to grab it while the one behind him came close enough that Joe could feel his breath on his neck and he shuddered fully.

“Phone. Anything else you got,” the man said, his voice gruff. It was dark and Joe couldn’t see much of anything other than red-rimmed eyes and a dark cap pulled over dark hair.

The second man grabbed for his phone as soon as Joe held it out, pushing Joe against the wall again hard enough that his head thwacked on the brick. Joe swore heavily, the pain making his eyes water, shooting through his head and down his spine as he doubled over. 

“Get rid of him,” the first said to the other, and Joe could barely register the words before he heard the bang of the gun and the immediate flash of pain in his side, and then he crumpled down to the ground. His world felt slick, his breath harsh, fear gripping his chest as he could feel his breath fading away. He faintly heard his name being called, forcing his eyes open just enough to see the intensely furious and intensely pale face of Nicky above him before the pain overtook him and then he saw nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the alley, after Joe is mugged.

Nicky said practically the entire Rosary as he held Joe in his arms, bloody and lifeless. The fucking creeps had been nearly out of the alley by the time Nicky had even opened the back door, and he was seeing red too much to even do anything about it. His cigarette was dropped next to Joe’s lifeless body, forgotten in an instant the moment he’d seen him lying there, bleeding out.

Nicky’d seen plenty of dead men before, a number of them by his own hand, but he’d never quite felt panic welling up in him like it was now. Joe had nothing to do with any of this; he was an innocent bystander here and now Nicky’d gone and fucked up one more time… Nicky looked down at Joe, put his hands on the wound to try and stop the bleeding though he knew by now it was a lost cause. He’d lost too much blood, Joe’s body limp. Nicky looked at him, at his lovely face that was now slack, thinking about his joyful grin and the sparkle he’d had in his eyes not a few hours ago. It made him sick. His life made him sick.

Nicky could feel tears welling up, something he never ever let himself do. He turned to the side, wiping his eyes on his shoulder as much as he could with a dead man in his arms. He needed to focus, needed to snap into action. He should get up and get security to review the tapes outside. There would be something there they could focus on and nail these fuckers. If they were Keane’s men… No, it was more likely this was a random mugging. Nicky looked down again, guilt rising as he gathered Joe up in his arms. It wouldn’t be good to have a police investigation around here. He’d have to move him inside and Nicky was bloody, his shirt soaked through with it. 

He sniffed again, gathering himself and preparing to stand, when a harsh inhalation from the man in his arms made Nicky splutter and almost drop him.

“Holy Mary Mother Of God,” Nicky gasped as he saw Joe’s eyelashes flutter and his brown eyes blink open slowly. Joe looked around, panicking, grabbing weakly at Nicky’s arms which were still around him and then he looked up to meet Nicky’s gaze.

“What— what the— what the _fuck_ ,” he wheezed out, trying to squeeze air back into his lungs.

Nicky felt both relief and panic war in him as he quickly pulled up Joe’s bloodied shirt, already knowing what he would see there, and running his hand over the completely smooth flesh.

“I was… I was…” Joe said, struggling in Nicky’s arms to sit up. Nicky helped him up and then dropped his hands, shuffling back on the concrete and then sitting on his ass promptly. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling the thickness of Joe’s blood now on his forehead and smeared into his hair.

“Dead,” Nicky finished for him, voice quiet. 

Joe felt for the wound as well, yanking his shirt up so he could see in the dim light before looking back to Nicky with wide eyes. “I was _dead_.”

“You should come with me,” Nicky said solemnly, shifting to standing. Now that he had something to do, he felt much calmer, much more in control.

“Maybe I should see a doctor or something, holy fuck, holy _fuck_ ,” Joe said, scrambling to his feet quickly and swaying. Nicky grabbed him, steadying him, looking at his bloody hand on Joe’s wrist and swallowing hard.

“We do not need to get the authorities involved here,” he said quietly, and Joe shot him a look that was both incredulous and knowing at the same time. Nicky dropped Joe’s wrist and watched as Joe patted himself down again.

“Yeah, that’s what you would say isn’t it,” he bit out, and Nicky frowned, willing to give the man a lot of leeway because he was just bleeding out into the street two minutes ago.

“I’ll take you somewhere safe,” Nicky said, and Joe looked at him again sharply. “We can clean you up and… talk.”

Joe snorted but as he took a step forward he swayed again, and this time Nicky caught him with both arms. “Fine,” he said, pushing Nicky’s arms away after a moment and standing on his own. “I don’t have bus fare anyways. Or my phone. Or my—” he patted down his pockets more. “My fucking keys. Did those fuckers take them, mother _fucker_.”

“Come on,” Nicky said, and he led the way to the other side of the alley. He pulled his pistol just in case any more trouble was lurking, keeping a tight watch on Joe who seemed to be walking fine, though perhaps was having a mild panic attack.

Nicky’s town car was on the other side of the building, his driver smoking a cigarette and snapping to alert as soon as he saw Nicky and Joe advancing. Nicky knew he looked like shit and both he and Joe were covered in blood, but this was all par for the course.

“Home,” he said, opening the door and ushering Joe inside. The driver nodded, hopping inside and hitting the gas as soon as their door was shut.

Nicky texted as soon as they were in the car: _Pull the tapes for the west side door. Don’t let anyone but me see._ Copley would keep them safe until he could look them over. Nicky’d figure out who those vermin were and would kill them. And then he’d figure out what to do with Joe.

Joe stared out the window silently, hands gripping the seat, tension lining every muscle in his body. After a while he seemed to realize he’d gotten blood on the leather and he looked down and then looked at Nicky almost fearfully.

“Sorry,” he began, but Nicky cut him off with a curt shake of his head.

“It’s nothing.”

Joe’s brow creased but he didn’t say anything else, returning to stare out the window. The city faded away gradually, the early morning sun just starting to peak out from behind the buildings, and Nicky felt infinitely tired. He held on though, his teeth set, jaw tight, not relaxing until they were inside the gates of his home and pulling up the long drive. Once he totally knew they were free from outside view he could feel his chest start to relax a little, not even realizing how tight he had been.

“Come on, we need to talk,” Nicky said, holding the door open for Joe again.

Joe shuffled out of the car, looking overwhelmed and exhausted now, and Nicky tried to smile at him wanly, though he didn’t know if Joe wanted his kindness in this moment. Nicky led the way again, through a side door that opened into a mudroom off of his large kitchen. He toed off his shoes and Joe did the same, and Nicky looked at him closely. Joe looked glazed over, like he wasn’t seeing Nicky or anything in the house, like he was in shock.

Nicky took him by the wrist again and when Joe barely registered the touch, Nicky frowned and tugged him along, leading him through the maze of the house and into a first floor guest bedroom. It was the nicest one he had, one with a decadent bathroom and a multi-person walk-in shower.

“Your clothes,” he began, nervously. “I will have them laundered and returned to you, but there is a lot of blood. Will you allow me?”

Joe looked at him with big eyes, nodding briefly and allowing Nicky to ease off his jacket and pull his ribboned tank top over his head. His torso was streaked in blood, dirt and gravel from the pavement mixed in, but he was otherwise in perfect condition. Minus the mental break. Nicky paused as he touched Joe’s waistband, waiting for some indication from Joe if he should stop or continue. He bit his lip when nothing came from Joe and he decided to leave them on, unwilling to do anything remotely like taking advantage of someone who was in so little capacity to consent. 

Nicky reached into the shower to fiddle with the controls, taking a moment to remember how this one turned on. He got a nice steam going, feeling the water to be sure it wasn’t too hot before turning back to Joe who had now pulled off his sweatpants but still had on little boxer briefs and was leaning heavily against the sink.

“Come on,” Nicky said kindly, holding out a hand. Joe looked at it and then looked at him, doing nothing, and Nicky moved slowly and carefully over to him, sliding an arm around his waist and easing him off the sink. “I’m going to put you in the shower now,” Nicky said, relieved when Joe moved with him. “And then we can get you new clothes and we can talk.”

Joe let Nicky move him into the shower and he stood there numbly while Nicky efficiently stripped out of his own clothes, leaving on his own briefs to preserve some sort of modesty. Then he moved Joe deeper into the shower until he was under the spray. Joe let it sluice over him, his curly hair becoming matted in the downpour of water. The dirt and grime rinsed down the drain around their feet, and Nicky put the soap in Joe’s hands and helped him move it on his torso. Nicky absently noticed the defined abs, the flex of his bicep and forearm, the strong thighs, how Joe was just a little bit shorter than him. But he mostly paid no mind because that’s not what he was here to do, though Joe was indeed a beautiful man. There were far more important things to think about now.

After Joe was mostly finished, Nicky washed his own hair out quickly, desperately wishing he was all the way naked so he could just get the rest of the way _clean_ , but he ushered Joe out anyhow and wrapped a big fluffy white towel around him. Joe shuddered immediately, the chill outside of the shower too much for his shock, and Nicky quickly pulled a towel around his own waist and pushed Joe out into the bedroom. He went to the closet and pulled out a thick blanket, wrapping it around Joe and then sitting him on the bed.

“I’m going to go get dressed and find you some clothes and then we can talk. I will be right back. Okay?”

When Joe said nothing, Nicky leaned forward and took Joe’s chin in his hands, making him look him in the eye. “Okay?” he repeated, and this time Joe blinked and nodded. “Good.”

Nicky left and returned as quickly as possible, changing into clean briefs and some sleep pants and a t-shirt, and carrying some flannel pants and a shirt that he thought might fit Joe’s slightly bulkier frame, in addition to some of his own underwear which felt supremely personal. Because it was his own underwear. He handed them to Joe, turning and leaving so he could dress in privacy, and then knocking on the door several minutes later when there was still silence.

“Are you done? Can I come back in?” Nicky called, and Joe cleared his throat.

“Yes,” he said, and Nicky had to strain to hear it. He opened the door again, the sight of Joe sitting on his bed with wet hair in Nicky’s pajamas striking him right in the chest.

Nicky walked in and sat down on the armchair near the bed. He ran a hand through his still-wet hair, a nervous gesture he knew he had. “Hey, so,” Nicky began, biting his lip as he watched Joe tug the blanket around himself further. “I have something to tell you and I don’t know if it will make you feel better or… worse.”

He waited for Joe to say something, anything, but Joe was still seated stiffly, staring at his own lap.

‘The thing you did back there… the coming back…” Here Joe looked up and met his eyes, and he looked so confused and tired that Nicky’s heart cracked just the littlest bit. Though he’d sworn it would never do that again. Nicky swallowed, gathering his courage. “I can do that, too.”

At those words Joe’s gaze sharpened, his eyes narrowing on Nicky’s face. “What? No. You’re lying.” He started struggling in the blanket, trying to unwrap his limbs, the panic crawling back up and visible on his features. “What am I even doing here, what the fuck, have you called the police? We should go, go do something, go—”

“And what would you tell them?” Nicky said, putting his hand over his eyes for a second and breathing in deeply. “That you were shot and have no wound?”

“Well I don’t know, that’s not my problem, your club is not my problem,” Joe said, cursing under his breath as he finally moved to standing.

“No, it’s not your problem,” Nicky said evenly. “But I can’t have you telling this story to other people. Particularly when it involves myself now, too.”

“Whatever, this is all total bullshit,” Joe spit. “You can’t just keep me here to keep me silent.”

Nicky sighed, utterly and completely tired, pulling his gun while Joe panicked more, tripping over the blanket and falling back onto his ass so he was seated on the bed. And then Nicky took a deep breath and shot himself in the foot.

“Fuck,” he said as quietly as he could, but it still hurt every single time, just as badly as the first. He and Joe watched the bare flesh knit itself together, until he was totally whole again, just the blood dripping down into a little puddle on the carpet beneath him. Nicky didn’t pay his cleaning service enough for this bullshit. He wiped his foot off on the towel, showing the smooth skin to Joe who now looked several shades paler.

“Holy _shit_ ,” Joe whispered, tugging his blanket even tighter around himself, eyes wide.

“Look,” Nicky ground out, the pain still lingering even though the wound was now completely gone. “I don’t know why I’m like this. And now I don’t know why _you’re_ like this. But I can’t just have you wandering around like this. For one, I can’t have you saying anything. And two.... I’d like to keep you safe. I have a lot of enemies.”

Joe scoffed but Nicky could see him thinking over the proposition.

“I can offer you protection. I think you should stay here for a little while. You can still work at the club but I will… Just being here will give you protection. Everyone will stay away and won’t ask questions. I don’t have to give you a security detail unless you want one.”

Joe shook his head, frowning. “No, definitely not that.”

“And if they think that we are together, all the better,” Nicky said carefully. “Plus that will be a reason for you to have spent the night here. And to spend multiple nights here.”

A look passed over Joe’s face that Nicky could not decipher, and they were both silent for a moment, thinking.

“Why don’t you just get some rest and think about it. We can talk it over more tomorrow. Or, well, later today,” Nicky said, looking at the sun that was now streaming fully through the window. Nicky rose and drew the curtains closed, turning to see Joe still seated. “Does that sound alright?”

Joe swallowed, and Nicky watched his adam’s apple bob. “Fine,” he said. 

“You’ll be alright?” Nicky asked tentatively, and Joe looked away, nodding again, though it didn’t make Nicky feel any better. He figured Joe didn’t want his comfort right now, and he wished there was _something_ he could do.

There was nothing though, and Nicky nodded and walked out the door, shutting it quietly behind him and heading to his own room to think about how fucked they both were if anyone found out their now shared secret.

***

Nicky woke feeling like he was hungover, though he’d barely had anything to drink. A glance at his dim clock said 1:00 and he had to think very hard to realize it was one o’clock in the afternoon, and not in the middle of the night. He dragged a hand over his face, scratching against his scruff that he hadn’t shaved in a few days, his mind flashing back to Joe’s lifeless body in his arms and then his gasping breaths and panicked inhalations. It brought back endless memories of his own deaths, his own last and first breaths, that terror gripping his chest the first time and then the absolute fear as he revived again and again, only to be alone and to wonder _why?_. And now, why Joe, why him too?

Nicky shook himself mentally, dragging himself from the bed and into his bathroom. He took a painkiller and followed it with a glass of water, running his hands through his hair again. He’d showered last night, sort of, with Joe— wow— but he wasn’t exactly clean, so he got in again and stood under the too-hot water for longer than he probably should have. The thought that Joe might be awake and holed up in his room, waiting for Nicky to allow him breakfast or… allow him to leave made him hurry up. He dressed quickly for work, his normal pressed suit waiting for him, and he slipped it on, doing up the sleeves and glancing at himself in the mirror. He looked tired, his eyes gaunt.

He checked his phone on his way out to the main room, seeing half a dozen texts from Andromache. He skimmed them over— nothing he needed to reply to right now— stopping short when he saw Joe perched on a high stool pulled up to the marble countertop of his kitchen island, looking half-asleep and rumpled in Nicky’s pajamas.

“Good morning,” Nicky made himself say, and Joe nodded at him absently.

“Coffee?” Joe said, and Nicky walked around the counter to grab two espresso cups from his cabinet.

“Is espresso acceptable?” Nicky asked, and he hoped so because it was all he had.

Joe nodded, accepting the basket of muffins that Nicky passed over to him, mumbling a _Thanks_ as he stuffed one into his mouth. Nicky’s stomach grumbled at the reminder and he took his own, eating silently as they both listened to the machine whir as it heated the milk.

When it was finished, Nicky handed the cup to Joe and he smiled blandly at him before seeming to remember himself and then looked down.

“Thanks,” Joe said looking into his cup. “I’m dead to the world before my first cup in the morning.” Then he laughed at his little joke, looking up at Nicky, and Nicky tried hard not to examine him too curiously. Joe was beautiful as Nicky had noted many times before, his eyes warm and brown, an easy smile, his hair an unkempt, gorgeous mess, looking just right for burying your hands in.

“Look, thanks for, um, helping me last night. It was a lot and I’m… I don’t even know what I am right now,” Joe said, and Nicky nodded at him, offering the basket of muffins again, though Joe shook his head.

“My first time was very difficult,” Nicky said, though it was so long ago that he could hardly remember at this point. “You get used to it.”

Joe frowned, obviously not liking that thought.

“So how long have you been… like this?”

Nicky looked Joe over and then looked down into his own cup, swallowing. “It has been a while.”

“How long? How old are you?”

Nicky paused, trying to remember. “Old.”

Joe’s brows creased again and Nicky liked it much better when he was smiling at him. “Fine. You’ll have to tell me your secrets sooner or later. If we’re both, you know—” He gestured between the two of them. “Immortal, I guess. Together.”

The thought made Nicky deeply uncomfortable; he had not shared his life with _anyone_ in a long, long time. Joe seemed to realize what he said as well because they were both quiet, sipping their espresso.

“So I’m going to need some clothes,” Joe said casually. “How is this going to work, exactly?”

Nicky breathed in to gather a bit of courage. “We can drive in together and my driver can drop you off at your apartment after I head to work. It would probably be best for you to use him exclusively rather than public transportation.”

Joe looked at him, his expression carefully composed. “What if I want to go elsewhere? What if you’re busy and need the car?”

“I can get a second car and driver.”

Joe laughed to himself. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Very,” Nicky said. They both chewed for a moment in silence before Nicky added, “You can perhaps pack up some things to come over here as well?”

Joe just nodded, finally glancing back to Nicky. He looked him up and down and then frowned again. “You’re ready to go now, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Nicky said.

“Alright, fine,” Joe said, getting up off the stool and walking to set his cup in the sink. He tried to rinse it out but Nicky waved him away.

“Will you be alright on your own for the time being?” Nicky asked once they were in the backseat of the car. The leather was pristine, like the previous nights events had not even happened.

“Yeah,” Joe said, but he was looking out the window and not at Nicky.

“Because I can call off what I had planned. Perhaps you should take the day off, it is a lot to take in—”

Joe shook his head. “No, I have to go to work today anyhow. I just started, I can’t call in. I’m supposed to be practicing and Quynh will—” He cut himself off, clearly thinking about what he needed to tell his friends. “I’ll figure it out.”

“You do realize I own the place and no one would argue.”

Joe frowned, obviously just realizing this. “No, I should go in, I can’t. And besides, you didn’t want to raise any suspicion, right? We should just keep on as… normal… As normal as we can be, yeah?”

Nicky nodded, knowing Joe was right, though he had lingering doubts that they were doing the right thing, but what other choice did they have? They pulled up to the address Joe had given for his apartment and Joe hopped out, leaving Nicky feeling uncomfortable to leave Joe alone on his doorstep. Joe reached above the door jam for his extra key and Nicky frowned further.

“You need to be more cautious,” he said out the window and Joe grunted and turned away from him, and Nicky could only watch him disappear inside and then rolled up the window. They drove away, Nicky’s mind on anything but the day of work he had ahead of him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joe moves in.

Joe tried to occupy himself with tasks to keep his brain busy; if he stopped for even a moment he’d have to contemplate the fact that he’d _died_ and now was _not_ dead. What a turn of events the last twenty-four hours had been. And now he was supposed to be packing underwear so he could go live at his boss’s/fake boyfriend’s giant house? In which he was getting his own car and driver? Joe shook his head, trying to chase the spiraling thoughts away but not being too successful at it.

He realized he didn’t have a phone anymore, and he didn’t know how he’d go about getting a new one anyways with no wallet and no way to contact Nicky or Quynh. He was being picked up at 5:00 so he’d just have to wait ‘til then and ask the driver to contact Nicky or… he’d maybe have to wait to talk to him at the club. If he was going to be there. And what would he say to Quynh and the others? How would he need to act in front of Nicky? As soon as Joe showed up in his car, everyone would start talking… Fuck.

Joe shook his head again and searched through his drawers, shucking off Nicky’s pajamas and underwear and finding something of his own to wear. The wait until 5:00 was a long one.

***

“What the fuck happened to you last night,” Quynh said with vehemence Joe had only rarely heard. He swallowed, knowing he was a shit liar most of the time. And then she spun around, narrowing her eyes at him. “You didn’t answer my calls.”

“My phone died,” Joe said weakly. “I have to get another one today.”

Quynh narrowed her eyes, looking him over, and apparently deeming that good enough. Joe let out a small sigh of relief, trying to get back to watching what he was supposed to be doing for their group practice. He was supposed to go out tonight for real, and he had been distracted enough by the whole dying and Nicky thing to forget about that fact, but now that was a real thing he needed to accomplish as well, and that was a bit daunting, too.

“Nervous to perform for Nicky?” Quynh said later, when they were lying on the ground, sweaty and exhausted. 

Joe bit back a surprised laugh. “What makes you think I’m performing for him?”

Quynh smirked at him. “Because I know you.”

Booker chose that moment to sidle up, sitting down on the stage and throwing back a bottle of water. “I saw you get out of his car today.”

“What?” Quynh said incredulously. She sat up and whacked Joe on the shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me that instead of letting me rib you about your phone? Did you really stay over his house last night?”

Joe turned three shades of pink and ducked his head, wishing it was what they thought it was.

“Yeah?” he said, hoping they wouldn’t press it.

Quynh whistled. “Wow. Be careful, friend. He’s cute but—” She thought about her words, obviously choosing them carefully. “Dangerous, too.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” Joe said, feeling oddly defensive of Nicky, though really they were hardly anything to each other.

“What’s his dick like?” Booker asked with genuine curiosity, and Joe was thankfully saved by the music being queued up again so he didn’t have to answer.

***

In the time between practice and the show, Joe had enough time to take a shower and dress, and was completely surprised to see Nicky sitting on a couch in the back room, clearly waiting for him.

Nicky smiled, a crooked thing that definitely made something flutter inside Joe’s chest, and Joe blushed again, knowing every single person in the room was looking at them.

“Can we talk?” Nicky said, and Joe bit his lip, nodding. “Privately?” 

Joe flushed even redder and followed Nicky somewhere, Nicky opening the door to a room down the hall that led to what was apparently a back office. There were two big chairs in front of a giant desk, with a neat bookshelf behind it full of what looked like ancient bound volumes, and a dry bar taking up the entire left side wall. Nicky held the door for Joe and Joe brushed past him, feeling supremely aware of Nicky’s body as they passed. Joe plopped down into one of the big chairs and Nicky shut the door behind him, moving to lean up against the desk and fishing around in his pocket for something.

“You doing alright?” Nicky asked and Joe bit his lip again, the reminder bringing a flash of his bloody hands and Nicky’s bloody and terrified face back into his brain. Joe shook his head to chase it away, drawing in a big breath.

“Yeah,” he said, though he knew he didn’t sound too convincing. He could feel Nicky’s eyes on him and Joe shuffled his feet.

“I brought you this,” Nicky said after a moment, and Joe looked up to see him holding out a brand new phone for him. It had a stylish black case on it; Joe knew it was expensive.

“I put in my personal number and the number for your driver— his name is Enzo. Please keep my number… private.”

"Okay," Joe said, taking it from Nicky and watching their fingers touch briefly. "Thank you."

Nicky nodded. "Can I offer you a drink? It might help ease the nerves."

Joe slid open the phone, laughing softly when he saw the wallpaper was a kitten from the Hang In There, baby poster. He looked up and was caught off guard by a soft smile on Nicky's face.

"No, I'm good," he said. "Thank you." His voice was a little more genuine this time and Nicky looked pleased. Again, something funny happened in Joe's chest at the sight.

"Has anyone said anything to you yet?" Nicky asked, his voice careful and Joe shook his head, frowning a bit at the reminder.

"No. Other than a bit of questions about showing up in your car."

"They'll get over it soon," Nicky said and Joe figured that was probably true, but that didn’t help anything in the here and now. 

Joe glanced at the time on his new phone. "I should probably get ready." He stood again, feeling Nicky's eyes on him. Then he laughed a little, the ridiculousness of this whole situation just a bit too much. "This is my first time, you know."

Nicky's grin turned a little devious, and Joe remembered Nicky's hands on his waist just last night. "You will be perfect."

Joe laughed, shaking his head. "No, definitely not that."

Nicky hummed but he let Joe have that one. Joe took a step towards the door, actually reluctant to leave, both because he wanted to keep talking to Nicky and also because he was in actuality nervous to go on.

"I am looking forward to watching," Nicky said, his voice thick, and Joe felt heat wash over his face and chest. He smiled shyly and then slipped out of the room, hot all over with anticipation. He went to finish getting dressed, feeling the stares of every single person, and ignored them all.

When he stepped on stage for his solo number the crowd cheered and Joe felt a rush of excitement wash over him that he had never felt before. It felt fantastic for cheers to be aimed his way, catcalls and beckoning fingers and money waved at him. Joe grinned genuinely, shaking his hips to hoots and hollers as he stripped off his shirt slowly. He left his hat on, remembering Nicky's deep voice instructing him to, and the thought made Joe glance to the bar.

Nicky was sitting there with his lowball, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his eyes fixed on Joe. He was shadowed but Joe could see him sitting there stock still, his eyes training Joe like a hawk. He took a long drink and Joe watched his throat swallow and could feel heat overwhelm him. He turned to focus on the crowd of people lining the stage, dropping to his knees and sliding his pants down slowly. They cheered as he stripped them off in time to the music, revealing some very tight and shiny black boyshorts. Quynh hadn't been able to completely talk him into the sequin ones or a thong yet.

He kept the hat on, though, and as he fingered the brim of it and ended on his knees with a hip thrust, he sought out Nicky in the crowd. He was still staring at him, hands tight on his glass, expression unreadable. Joe swallowed, feeling that heat again, growing worse than before now that he and Nicky were connected irrefutably. He breathed in deep, trying to catch his breath from his athletic performance before hauling himself up and heading backstage. He would go out and work the crowd a bit later, but for now he had time to take a moment and cool down.

When they were done working for the evening, Joe didn’t bother showering, just threw his stuff in his bag and slung it over his shoulder, turning to say goodbye to Quynh.

“You off to see your boyfriend?” Quynh said, with a bit of a dig on the last word.

“Mmm,” Joe said intelligently, knowing he wasn’t supposed to deny anything.

“You’ll be careful, yes?” she said, and Joe knew she was just trying to protect him but he was irritated nonetheless.

“Yes, I’ll use a condom,” he said, waving her off.

“That’s not what I mean, Joseph.”

“I’m a grown man. I can take care of myself.” Even as he said it, his stomach dropped a little, because no, he couldn’t. He’d _died_ and not even Nicky had saved him from that. He waved to her and walked to the front of the club. It was after 2 a.m. and the doors had closed, so it was only some people cleaning up, Nile wiping down the bar while Nicky was nowhere to be seen.

Joe looked around a bit and then pulled out his phone, somewhat disappointed to see he didn’t have any messages from Nicky. He flicked open the contacts list and clicked on Nicky’s. He’d only saved it as his first name, and Joe’s face heated at the slight intimacy that implied. 

_I’m ready to go._ he typed out. He thought for a moment then added. _Should I leave without you or wait?”_

Nick’s reply came only a minute later. _Wait, please. I’m almost done._

Joe busied himself looking through his new phone so he wouldn’t have to talk to anyone, and, true to his word, Nicky walked up to him a few minutes later.

“Hi,” Nicky said, and he looked tired but still put together, his hair falling down more than it had been when they arrived and his jacket thrown over his shoulder.

“Hi,” Joe said, rising and pocketing his phone in his sweatpants. Nicky looked at him intently and Joe was once again aware that other eyes were on them in the room.

Nicky raised his hand slowly, like he was coming up to touch Joe. “May I?” he asked softly, and Joe nodded, closing his eyes for a moment when Nicky’s hand touched his neck and his fingers tangled lightly in the base of his curls at the nape of his neck. They had been far closer together with far more charged contact the previous night, but this touch felt electric and intimate and Joe kept his eyes shut for just a second longer, savoring it. When he opened his eyes Nicky was close, his eyes warm, and Joe was once again struck by how absolutely beautiful he was.

“Shall we?” Nicky said and Joe licked his lips and nodded because he couldn’t find his voice. Nicky dropped his hand and Joe tried not to feel too disappointed, walking next to him out the door of the club and into the cool night, and feeling every single person’s eyes on them as they left.

***

Nicky ordered Thai food for them from the car and it was spread out on the kitchen counter when they arrived; clearly Nicky had some help working for him. They ate in silence for a bit, both tired from the day, and Joe tried to look at Nicky surreptitiously from behind his takeout container. He thought Nicky was pretty brave for eating something so sauce-heavy while still wearing a dry-clean only shirt.

It was a little different here at the house, where they weren’t putting on a show in more ways than one, and where Nicky seemed a bit more relaxed. Joe chewed thoughtfully again, remembering how he had a million questions about Nicky and immortality. Nicky had been forthcoming so far but not long-winded.

“Any news on my, uh, murderers?” Joe said, wincing a bit at his own word choice.

“No, unfortunately. There have been no leads.” Nicky scooped up some noodles with his chopsticks, and they ate a few more bites like this was the most normal thing in the world to be conversing about; for Nicky, it probably was.

“What about the tapes?”

“There’s nothing there,” Nicky said with authority. “Their faces were covered. My people’ve looked into it and it doesn’t seem like there’s any connection with my… business. Just a random mugging.” He looked over at Joe, apologetically. “I am sorry.”

Joe nodded, taking a few more bites. He didn’t think he’d have felt any better if it _had_ been due to a connection with Nicky, but the senselessness of it made him feel more hollow. Like he didn’t matter. He shifted on his seat, flexing his stomach where his wound wasn’t, feeling odd about it all. Maybe someday this would all be mundane to him, but not yet.

“I don’t think anyone suspects anything, and the tapes were destroyed afterwards. You are safe for now as long as we keep quiet. And you don’t die again.”

“How many times have you died?” Joe said carefully and Nicky looked up from his food, suddenly seeming much more tired.

“Too many times. It’s always bad.”

Joe nodded, chewing some more, parsing his words. “Is that the worst part? The pain?” His mind flashed back to lying in Nicky’s arms bleeding out, and he wasn’t too keen about experiencing the pain of dying over and over again, with or without Nicky.

“No,” Nicky said. “That is not the worst part.”

“So what is it then?”

“Being alone.” Nicky set his chopsticks down, looking over Joe’s shoulder for a long moment before he continued. “There will come a time not far from now where you’ll need to watch everyone you love grow sick and die. And then you are left alone wondering why you did not, why you had to watch their pain, why were you spared from it yourself. And then you long to _die_ , too.”

Joe swallowed heavily, thinking of his family. His mother, his father, his little sister… In reality he had not spoken to them in several years; to say they disapproved of his lifestyle was an understatement. But still, the thought that he would _never_ see them again… He felt his heart sink into his stomach.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Joe.”

They were silent for a while as Joe contemplated all of this for several long moments. The life that Joe led until now was not stellar, not at all how he’d thought things would turn out when he was thinking of his future. He hadn’t found steady work after art school, and now he was here doing whatever the heck the two of them were doing together. And he knew he couldn’t fathom what Nicky was saying, not yet. That Nicky had gone through so much and had just emerged on the other side as lonely and broken, perhaps, but also so _kind_. And despite all of that, and the fear that he would soon be losing everything he had ever known or loved, there was one little tiny bit inside of Joe that thought, _yes_ , perhaps this was how things actually were supposed to be. And maybe he was crazy for thinking that, but it burned like a little fire inside of the cage of his chest, like maybe he was _meant_ to be here in this moment with Nicky. “You’re not alone now, though,” Joe finally said, looking up carefully, hope welling.

Nicky looked pained. “I would never have wished this on my greatest enemy.” He turned to regard Joe, his eyes bright, expression unreadable. “But no, I am not.”

***

Joe had the following day off because it was a Monday, though Nicky did not. He wasn’t sure if Nicky had _any_ days off, really; the man seemed like a work-a-holic. When Joe awoke the house was quiet, and Joe threw on a shirt and padded out to the kitchen, seeing no sign of Nicky except for his cup in the sink.

He rummaged through the fridge for something for breakfast and found some yogurt, flipping on the espresso machine even though it wasn’t his top choice, but he needed coffee and that’s all there was. Maybe he could text Nicky about ordering a Mr. Coffee…

Joe lazed around for a while, turning on the TV in the main room and debating going to the gym but was too tired to get up and actually do anything. He felt drained, exhausted, even though he’d just slept for eleven or so hours. But if he was alone for too long though, his thoughts began to spiral, and he didn’t want to do that and verge into another almost panic attack again. And he wasn’t prepared to talk to Quynh just yet.

_I’m bored._ he texted Nicky after debating several times what to say. When Nicky didn’t reply, Joe sent another one: _Sorry if you’re busy._

_I am in a meeting but it’s not important._ Nicky replied almost immediately.

Joe grinned a little, pleased.

Then a few minutes later from Nicky, _There’s a pool._

_I don’t have a swimsuit._ Joe replied, knowing that that was verging on flirtatious.

_The bushes are tall._

Joe smirked. _I’ll think about it._ Then he waited a few minutes. _Can we get a different coffee machine? I like espresso but prefer plain black coffee._

_Tell Enzo what you want and he’ll take care of it. I’ll be back soon._

Joe felt a bit weird about it, because he wasn’t some kept boy, and he was definitely too old to be someone’s sugar baby anyways. But he was stuck here and didn’t exactly have his wallet back and it’s not like it would hurt Nicky at _all_ to put up for a coffee machine. He figured he’d take what he could get in this crazy situation.

He lazed about more, the past several days finally catching up to him now that he’d stopped to rest and ended up napping on the couch and was completely surprised to wake later in the day when the sun was setting through the large window to the west with a fuzzy blanket thrown over him and Nicky making noises in the kitchen.

There was a brand new Mr. Coffee 12-cup coffee maker on the counter next to the espresso machine and Nicky looked up at him when he peeked his head over the couch, Nicky’s smile warm. He had on a t-shirt and jeans now, his hair soft and tucked around his ears, and he looked so incredibly different from when he had on his suit of armor that Joe couldn’t help but stare at the contrast.

The smell of food heating in the oven drew Joe off of the couch and as he began to get up he realized he only had a t-shirt and boxers on; that was how he usually slept. He pulled the fuzzy blanket around himself, sitting up and then feeling his heart absolutely expand in his chest when Nicky came over with a cup of steaming black coffee and set it on the table in front of him. Joe picked it up and smelled it, the richness of the coffee warming him, and he nearly groaned with pleasure.

“Thanks,” he said with an easy smile, and Nicky’s answering grin made butterflies flutter in him again.

“Of course.”

“How was work?” Joe asked to be polite as he sipped, and Nicky ran his hands through his hair again.

“Busy. Boring. How was your day?” Joe nodded, knowing Nicky wouldn’t say much about it anyhow.

“I think I’ve been tired. I slept most of it away.” He inhaled the coffee again as he waited for it to cool more, still not all the way awake.

“You’re healing,” Nicky said with a smile. “You get used to it the more it happens.”

“Great,” Joe said with sarcasm leaking. “Looking forward to it.”

“I told you you should’ve taken yesterday off.”

“Again, you can’t call in sick on your third day of work.”

Nicky just shrugged. “You’re back on tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to go out before work? It might be good to be… seen together. So people outside of my own know that we’re… together.”

Joe swallowed heavily. “Yeah, alright. What were you thinking?”

“I know we keep unusual hours… how about lunch? There’s a nice Italian place I like just down the street, and perhaps we could go for a walk afterwards?”

Joe looked at Nicky and now that he knew him a little better, he could see that he was nervous. Joe was nervous, too. But excited. He knew it wasn’t real but… 

“Sounds good.”

Nicky smiled and it was lovely, and Joe noticed a beauty mark on his cheek under the scruff of his beard and the way the sun glinted off two silver loops hanging in both of his ears. He looked younger than he did when wearing his suits, lighter, and Joe wondered how old he really was. It might be a while until Nicky trusted him enough to share that information… But Joe could wait. He laughed a little bit to himself— they had all the time in the world.

They ate toasted ravioli on the couch that was heated from takeaway containers as they watched something vapid on the TV, and Joe felt himself slipping off to sleep after dinner, his body still exhausted. He barely stirred when Nicky woke him, too tired to be embarrassed that his face was pressed into Nicky’s shoulder. He kept his eyes mostly closed as they ambled to Joe’s bedroom and Joe crawled under the covers, murmuring what he hoped was a _thanks_ while Nicky pulled the covers over him and turned out the lights, and then Joe was snoring until morning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road gets bumpy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter with the attempted sexual assault. If you'd like to skip it, it's the second scene here. In my opinion it is very minimal, and if you want more details I'll put some spoilers for it in the end chapter notes if you'd like to check that first.
> 
> Also somehow this chapter is 7k? I don't know what happened. <3

Joe woke early, his fingers itching to draw. He got out his sketchpad and eased open the curtains, sitting at the window and looking at Nicky’s well-kept garden that clearly the man had never touched with a trowel, but someone with a green thumb obviously loved. It was beautiful, though, and Joe felt his hand move of his own accord, sketching a strong nose and pale lips shaped into a soft smile somewhere in between all the roses on the paper. And then eyes— smiling in the kind light of the lamp from the previous evening. Joe looked down to see Nicky staring back at him and he shut the notebook quickly, suddenly worried this was all too much too soon. He stood and went to the shower, remembering how it was only a few days ago that Nicky had peeled him out of his clothes, how they had washed his own blood away, how kind Nicky had been. The pain was still fresh but he tried to push it out of his mind, instead only fixating on what Nicky had been doing, on how close Nicky had been.

Joe scrubbed himself clean, feeling himself getting more turned on the more he thought of Nicky’s forearms and eyes, and the way he stared at him constantly. How his hands had felt on his waist, on his neck, his breath hot on his cheek, how it _would_ feel if Nicky was in there with him right now, touching him. Joe palmed himself, groaning and pressing his forehead into the cool tile. The shower was massive, one of those giant monstrosities with clear walls, and Joe suddenly could envision Nicky next to him, watching him with those sharp eyes, telling him what to do. Joe tugged on his cock, biting his tongue as he thought about it, about what Nicky’s hands would feel like there, if he would be kind and generous or hard and demanding. Most likely both. It wasn’t long before Joe was breathing hard, his orgasm welling up as he curled his toes and tensed, his come spilling over his hand and stomach and spurting onto the shower wall. He let it wash over him for a minute, the hot water beating down on him and washing the come off slowly. He laughed a bit as he saw it streaked on the shower wall and he tried to wipe at it as best as he could, resolving to come back and clean it off with the towel when he was done.

More relaxed, he finished his shower leisurely, only having a minor freak out over what clothes to wear to this “date” and finding he didn’t have much that was more formal than sweatpants. He decided on jeans and a nicer t-shirt, and resolved to walk out into the living room before he could overthink it any more. He nearly smacked straight into Nicky who was similarly casual, the two of them smiling at each other like idiots, and Joe wondered if Nicky was possibly, perhaps maybe, feeling maybe even a smidgen of what he was feeling. He certainly hoped so.

The walk to the restaurant was leisurely, the weather just in the early throws of spring which meant they didn’t need a jacket. The wind was blowing through Nicky’s hair and he looked light, the sunlight making him almost a different creature than the Nicky who lived in the dark of the club and the back of his town car and the kitchen at three a.m. He looked… nice. Normal.

When they walked into the restaurant, Nicky took Joe’s hand, smiling at him for just a moment as they were led to a table in the very back that looked like it was likely the best in the place and a giant block of fried cheese was placed on their table immediately. Wine was brought to them by another waitress even though it was 1 p.m., followed by a plate of fried calamari, and Joe smiled graciously though they hadn’t ordered any of it.

“Please enjoy, signores,” she said, bowing her head before swanning back to the kitchen.

“I have to work after this,” Joe whispered to Nicky, who just laughed and took a long sip of the wine, followed by an entire mouthful of cheese.

“You have to live your life,” he said, laughing at his little joke. “One of the perks of my, and now your… lifestyle—you can eat what you want. You reset back to how you were each time.”

Joe frowned, not having thought about it before. “Good thing I’m in good shape. If it had been when I was in art school, I was a lot, uh, less fit.”

Nicky hmmed around more cheese. “Art school?”

Joe gave in, using the fork to put a glob of cheese onto his plate and fighting with the strings of it that refused to let go. “Yeah, I finished a year ago. I do a bit of freelance work at times but it’s a bit tough to make a living that way so, you know…” He gestured vaguely and Nicky nodded his understanding, taking another sip of wine and then leaning back to contemplate Joe.

“How’d you end up here then?” Joe asked, because he _was_ very curious.

Nicky was quiet though, growing more serious. “I’m not proud of everything I’ve done. Sometimes my life has been long, and there have been opportunities…” He trailed off, his eyes flicking downward.

“Fine,” Joe said, looking up as the waitress brought them two giant bowls of pasta and two large serving spoons, setting them on the middle of the table. They ladeled out portions, Joe choosing his words carefully. “How did you get started, then?”

Nicky seemed a bit more comfortable with that question, and he chewed for a moment, looking thoughtful. “Growing up, I joined the seminary, though I did not finish. And then I was sent to the Crusades.”

“The Crusades?!” Joe whispered, nearly dropping his fork.

“Yes,” Nicky said, as if that wasn’t the most ridiculous thing in the world to be saying. “I died there, the first time. And then came back. Many times. I thought I was being punished by God.”

“Wow. And didn’t anyone notice your... returning?”

Nicky chewed again, his eyes looking far away. “I had to move around a lot to avoid being found out. After my initial anger burned out, I had to find a way to go on. I was… alone for some time. I spent a long time searching for reasons. All I could find were some ancient texts that suggested there might be others just like me. I searched for so long, but there was nothing, just myths and legends, dreams perhaps. After a while I just survived, finding ways to live off the grid, not be found out. It has gotten more difficult as human civilization has evolved. Much harder to be unnoticed. There were times when I had to resort to some… unsavory methods to stay hidden.”

Joe nodded, taking it in.

“So of course when I found you…"

Joe licked his lips, the funny feeling back in his chest. Their eyes met again, and Joe was once again struck by how beautiful they were, how deep, how intense. “Then you weren’t alone anymore.”

“It is more than I could have ever hoped for,” Nicky said quietly, looking away, and the moment was cut short as the waitress came to remove their plates and offer a dessert menu that they both turned down.

***

Nicky was a bit cryptic on where he had to be that evening and Joe had learned not to ask questions, so he rode alone to the club. He tried not to feel too disappointed; he was slowly growing accustomed to Nicky’s dry humor and little smiles and the way his whole presence made Joe just feel alive. Funny how it had taken him literally dying to ever feel this way.

It was a slow evening and Joe was hanging out in the back room after his first performance, taking a break and scrolling his phone, reading through his last text exchange with Nicky and avoiding Booker so he wouldn’t ask him about Nicky’s dick again.

“Hey, someone asked for you specifically,” one of the guys who he didn’t normally talk to said.

“Really?” Joe replied looking up from his phone, actually a bit surprised. He was still pretty new and it wasn’t like he had built up that much of a reputation yet. He was surprised anyone even knew who he was. He dropped his phone in his bag and followed the guy out, stopping in the dark corner of the room so he could search him out.

“That him?” Joe asked, tipping his head in the direction of the private booths on the far side.

“Yeah,” the other guy said. “Was leaving big tips earlier, but I heard he was getting handsy so watch yourself.”

Joe shrugged, shaking off the comment. “I can take care of myself.” He knew he’d said that before, but this he felt like he could handle. Joe pushed himself from the wall and walked over, noting the way the guy raked his eyes over him as he noticed him. He was good looking, with a close beard, something about him that screamed military, and enough muscles to back it up. He had nothing on Nicky, though, Joe thought with some amount of tightness in his chest. Still, this was his job, and he wasn’t being paid to assess the hotness of his clients.

“Hi,” Joe said, smiling politely. This part was still always a bit awkward. “I heard you were asking for me?”

The guy looked him up and down, and Joe realized he still had all of his clothes on. Oh well, at least he’d have more to take off.

“Yeah,” he said, and his voice was deep, with an English accent. “I saw you on stage and was hoping to say hello.” He flashed some bills at Joe, holding them out, and Joe grinned at the amount, leaning forward and letting his hand brush the guy’s as he took the wad. “What will this buy me?”

“A dance,” Joe said, sliding forward and reaching behind himself to tuck the money into the back pocket of his trousers. 

“Better be more than that,” the guy said, tugging on Joe’s hips so he was straddling his lap, their bodies close.

“A _good_ dance,” Joe purred, rolling his hips once.

The guy hummed, putting his large hands higher on Joe’s waist and pushing his own hips up. He was obviously hard already and Joe was used to it, sliding himself over the guy’s lap. The guy’s grip was tight, though, holding him there, his hands sliding down along Joe’s ass and inward a bit.

“Hey, watch the hands,” Joe said easily, reaching for the guy’s wrists. His hands were big, paw-like, and under a different situation Joe might have found him attractive. He wasn’t enjoying his lack of following the rules though, and the way his grin grew cockier.

“So are you new here?” the guy said once his hands were back on Joe’s hips. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“Yes,” Joe said, leaning back to slowly strip off his tank top. The guy’s big thumbs stroked along his now-exposed stomach, one hand moving up to Joe’s ribs and making him shudder. “You a regular?”

“I have business here sometimes,” the guy replied, and Joe frowned, not liking the sound of that. He suddenly wondered what Nicky was doing and if Nicky knew this guy.

“Oh yeah?” Joe said, teasing at his hat and hitching his breath when the guy’s hands inched up further. “Hands,” Joe said, keeping his voice light but with a hint of warning in it.

“I’ll pay you more if you give me more. More money than whatever you’re making here, for a bit of extra fun,” he said, one hand tightening on Joe’s hip while the other made a smooth sweep downward, kneading along Joe’s inner thigh. "I bet you like it a bit rough, yeah?" 

Joe instantly felt uncomfortable, and he dropped his hands to the guy’s wrists again, holding him tight. 

“Hey, I think we’re done here,” Joe said, gripping him firmly, but the guy’s hold was like iron and he refused to budge.

“I don’t think you understand how much money we’re talking about,” he said, his thumb making circles on Joe’s thigh. “And besides, I already paid you for a dance. I wanna get my money’s worth.”

Joe slid his hand upward along the guy’s hand, wondering if he could get a good enough grip on his thumb to break it. He didn’t want to, though, didn’t want to cause a scene if he could get out of it with less violence, but the guy wasn’t giving him a lot of choice.

"No," Joe said clearly. "I said we're done."

The guy's eyes narrowed and his hands tightened further, and Joe tried to stand but was unable to move at all. The guy was huge, really, and Joe briefly glanced to the side, trying to find the security who usually was lurking around in the shadows for moments exactly like this, unfortunately.

But instead of the burly security by the doorway, Joe was completely shocked to see Nicky staring at them both with a cold and furious expression on his face, pushing off Andy and suddenly right next to them, jerking the guy's hands off of Joe and then leaning back to punch him right in the jaw.

Joe heaved himself out of the way on shaky feet, watching Nicky pull the guy out of his seat and land another solid punch to his gut, making him double over. The man looked up at him, licking at the bloody corner of his mouth.

"How dare you fucking touch what's mine," Nicky spit, and the venom in his voice made a chill run down Joe's spine, mixed with the anger of being referred to as Nicky’s posession.

The guy's face softened a little and his eyes widened slightly, looking between the fury on Nicky's face and the shock mixed with anger that was slowly clouding Joe's expression. Then he smiled, a dark and predatory thing as he straightened further. "Ah," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I didn't know this was _your_ slut. Otherwise I would've—"

He didn't get to finish the sentence because Nicky clocked him again, the two of them going at it viciously while Joe scrambled backwards, the rest of the club deathly silent as they watched. It wasn’t a long confrontation— Nicky was smaller but quicker and more vicious, quickly getting the guy to the ground and placing a few kicks to the ribs before kneeling on his chest and getting in his face.

“Don’t ever come back here again, you asshole. However nice we’ve pretended to play, we’re done. If you come back, if you touch him again, I’ll kill you.” Then Nicky socked him one more time in the jaw and got off, heaving in big breaths as he shook out his hands, his knuckles bloody.

The guy groaned on the floor but rolled over, clutching his ribs and obviously injured, his eyes blazing. “Fine,” he grit out as he pulled himself to standing, his breathing labored. “I don’t need you. This was a big mistake on your part. _Big_.” He glared threateningly for a long moment and then finally turned, limping out to the door, and once he was through it Nicky visibly crumpled, turning to look for Joe.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?” Nicky began, reaching for Joe even though he’d been the one in the fist fight.

Joe backed up a step, though, the anger ripping through him again. “I’m not your _property_ , Nicky.”

Something like anguish passed over Nicky’s face and he dropped his hands, running one through his hair like he usually did when he was nervous. “I know, Joe, I just—”

But Joe shook his head again, pulling his clothes back on. “What the hell were you thinking? I didn’t need you to kick the crap out of some creep to save me, what the _fuck_ Nicky?”

Nicky grew quieter and more composed. “Let’s do this somewhere else,” he said quietly, and Joe shook his head vehemently. He was suddenly sick of Nicky’s secrets and Nicky’s protection and Nicky’s rules.

“No,” Joe said. Then, more strongly, “No. We’re not doing anything else right now. Leave me alone.”

Then he turned and fled, leaving Nicky staring after him. 

Joe felt hollow, confused as he packed his bag and threw on his hoodie. He thought for a moment, knowing that this was exactly how he should not be wandering the back alley of this club so he wouldn’t fucking _die_ again, so he texted his driver and flopped into the back of the car, making him take him back to his own apartment. The driver stayed outside, parked where Joe could see him out the front window, and he knew that was probably on Nicky’s orders which made him even more furious. What a fucking asshole.

Joe railed on his punching bag a few times and then took a long, angry shower. Once he was back in his bed he could feel the adrenaline seeping out of him, making himself tired, and he finally got the courage to pick up his phone again.

He had several texts from Nicky, all of which he ignored, and a few from Quynh. As he was reading through them her picture came up, his phone buzzing at the incoming call. He frowned deeply and let it buzz a few times before swiping to answer it.

“What?” he said gruffly.

“Thank fucking _god_ ,” Quynh breathed out. “What the _fuck_ , Joe? Are you alright? I told you not to get involved with him. I _told you_.”

“Yeah, I _know_ ,” Joe shot back, but he fell back on his pillow, running his hand over his face. They were quiet for a minute while Joe breathed in and out. Finally he said, “Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.”

“Okay, good,” she said, but she didn’t sound convinced. “Nicky looked… pretty fucked up when you left.”

There was silence between the two of them. Then, “You, uh, do you know who that was?”

“No,” Joe said, his eyebrows creasing together. “Some asshole?”

“Yeah, well, yeah. But his name’s Keane. They have some history. I don’t know the whole deal, obviously, but… He’s like his biggest rival. So that’s why he was… He wasn’t just randomly punching some asshole. I mean, not like any of this is okay…”

Quynh was rambling now, and Joe frowned further. _What?_

“Well what was Keane doing there then? Wouldn’t Nicky have banned him?”

“I don’t know, that’s a thing you should ask _him_.”

They were silent some more. “Do you want me to come over?”

“No. No, I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, text me later.”

Joe nodded and hung up, tossing his phone down on the bed and throwing his arm over his eyes. He looked at his phone guiltily, thinking he should probably text Nicky back and say _something_ to him, but he wasn’t sure he was ready. It was the first time he’d been alone in his apartment since that day that he'd died, and he shuddered as it all came back to him again, the blood on his hands, Nicky’s frightened look, and waking up in his arms to see the absolute relief flooding into him when Joe gasped back to life. He curled around himself, suddenly missing Nicky very much.

He’d never felt alone before when he was by himself. He didn’t like it.

***

Joe made it all the way until noon the following day before texting Nicky.

_We should talk._

The reply from Nicky was instantaneous, and Joe felt a ridiculous amount of nerves as he typed out that yes, Nicky could come over. It had felt like the last few weeks had been some kind of dream, a dream world where there was Mr. Coffee and Nicky in his suits and t-shirts, and Joe wasn’t sure how he fit into all of that, but he sure didn’t think Nicky would fit in to his studio apartment.

The knock at his door startled him from his thoughts and he went to open it, looking down shyly when he saw Nicky staring at him with concern written across his features. He suddenly wanted to hug Nicky tight to him with all of his being, but instead he opened the door further to let him into the apartment.

“I’m sorry it’s a mess,” Joe said, scratching his neck and taking a good look around the living room for the first time in a while. There were coffee cups everywhere, a half-eaten sandwich growing mold on the rickety coffee table, and various art-related paraphernalia littering the room. Joe hadn’t been here in a while, and his face turned a bit red.

“I like it,” Nicky said, his voice soft, and Joe’s face heated even further. “It is warm and filled with life, like you are.”

Nicky sat on the couch, looking not as out of place as Joe had imagined. He had on jeans and a soft shirt and his hair was still wet, like he’d come over immediately, as soon as Joe had said so. He probably had. Joe fixed him some coffee like how Nicky liked, and when he handed it over, their eyes finally met for the first time. Joe breathed in sharply at the arrested look there and then dropped down onto the couch, looking at the coffee table again.

“I would like to explain myself and apologize,” Nicky began, and Joe dropped his hands into his lap, nerves jangling through his limbs. “The person you were… whom I… last night. It’s complicated, but he is not a good man. He showed up to get under my skin, and he was very successful.”

Joe frowned again. “And what am I here? A fucking pawn?"

“No, Joe, of course not. Keane and I have a very loose business association that was severed yesterday. As you saw. He is dangerous and I've had to do what I've had to do to keep him away, and sometimes that includes a deal with the devil.” Nicky swallowed, grasping on to the cup tighter, his eyes searching out Joe’s. “And I am deeply sorry for what I said. I do not own you. I know that to be true. I'm sorry I've involved you in any of this. I was hoping to protect you but I fear I’ve made things worse.” His voice sounded a bit pained. “Keane thought that we were together… And that’s what we were hoping people thought. But not like that. Not at all.”

Joe nodded, rubbing his hands nervously along his thighs, and when he didn’t say anything, Nicky continued.

“His hands on you, though. I couldn’t stand it.”

Joe looked up again, his heart hammering in his chest. “Because he’s your enemy?”

“No,” Nicky said, setting down the cup. “Because though you are not mine, I _want_ you to be. Freely. I want that desperately.”

Joe’s heart was beating so loudly Nicky could probably hear it. He shifted on the couch, biting his lip and looking at the open sincerity on Nicky’s face.

“I don’t know what any of this is. I don’t know why you have been chosen for this life, why you, why now. I know this sounds foolish, Joe, but I believe this is destiny. Why else would I find you there? Why else would you wake in my arms?”

“Yusuf,” Joe found himself saying, surprising himself.

“What?”

“That’s my given name. I don’t like to… tell just anyone.” It felt right to say, though, to give Nicky that little bit of him. Joe’s hands were still shaking and he dug his fingernails into his thighs to try and mask his nerves.

“Yusuf.” The word was so soft, so reverent on Nicky’s lips. “I’m so sorry. I’m afraid I’ve fucked it all up. I wanted to help you but I fear I’ve done the opposite. Please say something, anything.”

“Nicky—” Joe began, but he cut off when Nicky smiled ruefully.

“Nicolò. I haven’t been called that in a long time.”

“Nicolò,” Joe tried out, and the name felt right on his tongue. Private. Intimate. “I feel it, too.”

They leaned closer, into each other’s spaces, like they were magnetized and couldn’t stop. If a tornado crashed through the room, it could not pull Joe away from Nicky in that moment. Nicky reached forward, like he had before at the club, but this time he kept going, brushing the tips of his fingers against Joe’s cheek. Joe closed his eyes and leaned into it, the intensity of the moment so strong he could barely stand it.

And then their lips met, softly, so softly, and Joe could feel his heart fluttering in the cage of his chest, his body light, the moment surreal. Nicky was softer than Joe had expected, his hands light, holding Joe to him gently. They let their tongues slide against each other, the kiss growing deep and heated, Joe moving forward on his knees until his chest was pressed right against Nicky’s, their bodies as close as possible. He fit into Nicky perfectly, like they were made for each other, his mind delirious with joy at the thought.

After long moments of traded kisses, Joe leaned back. Nicky chased his lips as Joe pulled away, smiling at the glazed look on Nicky’s face, his wet lips, and his mussed hair. 

“You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen,” Nicky said, and Joe flushed straight down to his toes. He surged into Nicky again, kissing him fully, and then kissing some more, letting his hands tangle in Nicky’s hair like he’d wanted to that first night. It was so soft under his fingertips and Joe could feel his heart swelling in his chest, because it just felt _right_ to be here with Nicky, to be in his arms, to fit together with him.

The buzzing of Nicky’s phone in his pocket startled both of them, and Nicky bit his lip, looking adorable as he fished it out and turned it off as quickly as he could.

“Sorry,” he said, and Joe shook his head, tucking back a strand of hair behind Nicky’s ear, thrilled that he could do so now.

“I should get ready for work now, really,” Joe said, though it physically pained him to separate from Nicky’s embrace. Nicky pulled him back in for another kiss and then another, until finally, twenty minutes later they rolled off the couch.

They made it to the door before stopping to kiss again, unable to keep their hands off each other.

“We’re going to the same place,” Joe said, as Nicky reattached his lips to his ear when he tried to pull away again unsuccessfully.

“I know,” Nicky replied, voice muffled as he bit down to Joe’s neck, nuzzling into the curls of his beard.

It took another ten minutes, but they finally made it to the car, grinning at each other like idiots the entire time.

***

When they went back to Nicky's house, it felt much more permanent. Joe shyly moved his things into Nicky’s room and he looked down at Nicky’s giant bed with his dark, silk sheets, swallowing almost nervously. He didn’t have time to think too much on it though, because he had to go back to work again shortly, and he was driving in with Nicky.

They ended up making out in the backseat almost the entire ride over, Nicky’s thigh pressed between Joe’s and fitting him up against the back seat. When they pulled away for air Nicky looked beautifully disheveled, his hair a mess and falling in his eyes, and his lips bitten pink and shiny.

“Perhaps it would be alright if you are late,” Nicky said as he sucked beneath Joe’s ear and pressed into him further, his hands gripping Joe’s hips through his sweatshirt. It was difficult to think straight, Joe incredibly hard in his pants, his whole body on fire.

“We can’t— go in like this—” Joe bit out between kisses, nearly breathless.

“Later then?” Nicky said, his eyes smouldering as he stroked Joe’s cheek and then put his hand behind his neck to look him in the eyes.

Joe swallowed heavily, anticipation throbbing through his body. “Yes.”

Joe got a hold of himself and straightened his clothes, heading into the club first. He was perhaps a little prideful that it took Nicky several long minutes in order to get himself presentable enough to be able to follow him in.

He could feel Nicky’s eyes on him the entire night. He probably had better things to do than be hanging at the bar— in fact Joe _knew_ he did, and he thrilled at the idea of Nicky being so wrapped up in him that nothing else mattered.

Joe ended his number with just his hat on and a leather thong that Quynh had finally talked him into, and it took all his willpower to not get ridiculously hard under Nicky’s hawk-like gaze. Afterwards he threw himself backstage in a haze, needing a few minutes to cool down before going out to work the crowd and possibly see Nicky again, and he palmed his dick loosely before going to check his phone.

A message from Nicky lit up the screen and Joe swiped on it to reveal the rest of it.

_No touching yourself yet._

Joe dropped his hand and bit his lip, his dick growing harder as he imagined Nicky’s voice saying the words, sultry and deep. _Fuck._

***

The ride back home was charged, the air between them heavy, though they managed to keep their hands off of each other.

Nicky’s hand did reach out across the leather seat, brushing against Joe’s pinky, and he turned in surprise, flipping his hand up so Nicky could take it in his. His smile was so warm, so pretty, it made Joe’s heart swell. He leaned forward to kiss him but they pulled to a stop, lurching forward a bit and then struggling with their seatbelts so they could get inside as quickly as possible.

Once they’d made it past the threshold, Nicky turned to capture Joe in his embrace, nosing along his neck and slotting his body into his before kissing him silly.

“I’ve never wanted another as much as I want you,” Nicky said, voice low. He pressed his hips into Joe to emphasize his point and Joe pushed his head back into the wall, panting, already overwhelmed.

Joe pushed him away only to take his hand, leading him over to the bedroom and swallowing thickly when Nicky shut the door behind them. Joe turned in his arms, taking his time looking at Nicky’s face. It was dark in the room, the curtains open and the moon and a dim streetlight filling the room with soft light. The shadows were highlighted on Nicky’s face, his nose sharp, the circles under his eyes prominent, his eyes shining.

Joe could feel words forming on his tongue that he wasn’t ready to voice yet, so he tugged Nicky to him and kissed him to try and show him. They walked backwards to the bed, falling down heavily on it and laughing as Joe pushed Nicky’s heavy weight off of him so he could scooch up on it further.

“Can I—” Nicky began, hovering over Joe, his hands not on him quite yet. “May I— May I fuck you?”

Joe bit back a laugh, not having heard anyone be so polite and so vulgar at the same time. He nodded, though, when Nicky looked concerned at his laughing. “Yes, yes, please.”

Nicky grinned then, looking a little more devious as he began to methodically divest Joe of his clothing between heated kisses. Everywhere he touched was hot like a brand, and when he briefly grabbed Joe’s wrists and squeezed, taking them above his head and having him hold them together tightly so Nicky could pull up his sweatshirt, Joe about died. He had to unclasp them to get the sweatshirt off completely, but when he grabbed his wrist again once he was naked from the waist up and looked up at Nicky’s sea-green eyes he groaned at the possessive look there.

“Good boy,” Nicky praised, roughly, running his hands down Joe’s arms and putting his mouth all over his chest and abdomen. Nicky bit and sucked marks across Joe’s chest, grinding down with his hips and then sliding down the rest of his body, taking down Joe’s track pants as he went. Joe licked his lips self-consciously, his body spread out for Nicky, his cock hard and leaking in the crease of his thigh.

Nicky fit his fingers in the places between Joe’s ribs, taking his time learning his body, worshipping him with his lips and tongue, and taking an interminable time until he got to the tip of Joe’s cock. When he finally licked at him Joe groaned fully, his cock flexing as he tried to keep his legs still unsuccessfully. Nicky held down his thighs, taking his time licking up and down Joe’s heavy cock, inching down to lick at the seam of his balls and then parting his legs so he could lick down further. Joe was making incoherent noises, nearly crying by the time Nicky pushed back one thigh and wriggled his tongue inside. 

It felt like it was forever as his tongue lapped around him and in him, spearing him open. And then one finger and then two joined, slippery with lube and making him groan and swear. He was saying something, probably begging Nicky to give him more, _more_ , and Nicky was petting his thighs and humming, his tongue still working into him relentlessly.

Joe grasped onto some remaining scraps of sanity and let go of his wrists, pulling at Nicky’s shoulders and Nicky came away easily, looking unfairly sexy and dirty, and still in his suit shirt and pants while Joe was completely naked.

“You okay?” Nicky asked as he shifted on his knees, kissing Joe on the side of the knee and grasping Joe’s hand as he reached for him.

“Gonna come if you keep doing that,” Joe said with a shaky laugh, and he sat up, putting his forehead to Nicky’s and easing his hand down the collar of Nicky’s shirt until he made it to the first button. Joe looked to him before undoing the first one and Nicky nodded, working on the bottom buttons while Joe did the top and then shrugging it off into a pool on the floor. He stood to do the same to his pants and they both watched as Nicky pulled them down, and the most gorgeous dick Joe had ever seen sprang out, full and long and hanging there heavily. Joe licked his lips, getting his hand around it and marveling at the way it fit around him perfectly, and the way Nicky’s face creased with pleasure when he gave him a long stroke.

“How do you want to?” Nicky said quietly, sliding his hands down Joe’s back until he rested both hands on his ass, squeezing and pulling him apart while Joe bucked up into his stomach.

Joe bit his lip for a moment, pretending he was thinking, though he already knew the answer. “I want to see your face,” he said, and Nicky’s smile was so brilliant it could light up the whole room.

They lay back on the bed, Nicky hovering above him and Joe nearly bent in two, Joe’s heart hammering away. Nicky reached down to guide the head of his cock forward, the two of them groaning when it slipped inward just a little. Joe bit his lip and bore down, emotion swelling in his chest as he took Nicky in further.

“You are perfect,” Nicky said as he pushed in little by little and it seemed like it was _forever_ until he was seated all the way in, the two of them panting with open mouths. “How did I get so lucky?”

Joe couldn’t answer because he was currently taking in Nicky’s beautiful cock up the ass, too overwhelmed to voice anything but grunts and to claw at Nicky’s shoulders. And Nicky knew how to fuck, bending Joe how he wanted him so he could slide in deeper, like he was in all the way to Joe’s _throat_. Nicky pushed Joe back by the knees, driving in hard, his hair falling into his eyes and leaning forward every once in a while to catch Joe’s lips in a rough kiss, though they had to break away several times to keep up the vigorous pace. It didn’t last long, the two of them so keyed up that it was like a freight train steamrolling into them, into Joe at least.

When Nicky began to stutter and moan Yusuf’s name into his shoulder as he circled loosely around Joe’s cock, Joe lost it, stiffening up and coming over their stomachs hard. He clenched down on Nicky’s cock, closing his eyes as he was fucked mercilessly through it, and then Nicky was grunting and holding him tight, coming inside of him. It was suddenly slick between them, Nicky’s come easing the way and dribbling out and onto the sheets, and Joe laughed almost deliriously as he felt tears come to his eyes.

They lay there on top of each other, Nicky’s weight heavy on him, and the wet spot slowly growing worse as Nicky began to ease out.

“You’re gross,” Joe laughed as he reached for a tissue, trying to clean up the mess.

Nicky flopped next to him, his grin loose and looking more relaxed than Joe had ever seen him. 

“You will be the death of me,” Nicky bit out wryly once he caught his breath, and Joe stuttered out a laugh, running his hand down Nicky’s sides and over his stomach just because he could.

"I don't know how much that means to a man who cannot truly die."

“If that is the price of being with you...” Nicky said seriously, pulling Joe back up for a kiss, their lips wet and soft. “I would pay it one million times.”

Joe kissed him back fiercely, their hands each holding the other tight, like they would crawl inside one another if they could. But Joe was tired and spent and they finally drew away, foreheads pressed together before Joe shuddered and Nicky drew the blanket up over them. They lay there a long time, listening to nothing, just pressed together, feeling each other’s heartbeats beneath their skin. Nicky traced patterns on Joe’s bicep for a long time as their sweat cooled.

“We can have this forever,” he whispered into Joe’s forehead, sealing his words there with a kiss.

And Joe knew it was too early, knew it was way too early for any of this, but he’d never felt more certain of anything in his life. “Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

Nicky’s arms immediately encircled him, and Joe may have been crying, or at least his eyes were wet against the pillow and Nicky’s cheek, and they stayed like that for the rest of the night, not separating until the mid-day sun finally made them get up.

***

“Keane wants to meet with me,” Nicky said blandly, and Joe turned to look up from his sketchbook with concern. Nicky was sitting on the couch, phone in hand. He stood and kissed Joe on the forehead as he walked out of the room, and Joe tried not to listen to the clipped phone conversation with who he assumed was Andy, but he could feel anxiety beginning to thread through his stomach.

When Nicky came back into the room he looked serious, his mouth set. “It is the right thing to do,” he said to Joe’s raised eyebrows. “We need to settle things between us and end this. I need to move on from here someday, soon. Perhaps this will be an opportunity to sever some ties, begin to break away…”

“How many times have you had to do this?” Joe said, and he stood from where he was sitting at the kitchen counter and walked over to the couch, dropping himself in Nicky’s lap. Nicky immediately wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in Joe’s neck and inhaling deeply.

“Too many times,” Nicky said.

“But this time I’ll go with you,” Joe said quietly.

“Will you leave your family, your friends, your _life_ that you have here, tesoro?” Nicky asked quietly, looking away.

Joe thought of his parents and Quynh, a small pang running through him, but knowing his mind was made up completely, with no reservations. “I belong with you, hayati.”

Nicky held Joe’s face between his hands, the look in his eyes one of absolutely intense adoration before bringing their lips crashing together. Joe shifted so he was straddling Nicky, kissing him like his life depended on it, like if he tried hard enough he could crawl right inside Nicky’s chest.

They paused after a moment, their foreheads rested together.

“When’s the meeting?” Joe said, feeling a bit sick about it.

“Tomorrow.” 

The feeling in Joe’s stomach got worse, like a stone sinking, right into his gut.

“Let me go with you,” Joe said plaintively, knowing what Nicky’s answer was going to be as he averted his eyes.

“No, that is a bad idea,” Nicky said quietly, moving Joe off of his lap and standing.

“I thought we just said where you go, I go,” Joe said, growing annoyed.

“You know that’s not the same thing.”

“Nicky, I just want—”

“What if something happens to you?” Nicky suddenly bit out, eyes flashing. “Do you think I could bear that?”

“I can’t die!” Joe exclaimed back, jumping to standing as well.

“You don’t understand,” Nicky said, his voice growing deathly quiet. “There are worse things than death.”

Joe opened his mouth and then closed it sharply, not expecting that.

“What if they take you, what if they keep you, or torture you, or use you to get to me.” Nicky looked sullen, turning to look away. “I need to leave this place, for both of our sakes.”

Joe softened immediately, throwing his arms around Nicky, his eyes growing wet. “Alright, yes hayati, I understand. That won’t happen, that won’t happen.” He shushed Nicky, pulling him into another wet kiss. “We will figure it out.”

“I hope so,” Nicky said, but he wasn’t looking at Joe, he was looking past him. Joe swallowed hard, hoping so, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attempted sexual assault details: Keane non-consensually touches Joe even after being asked explicitly to stop, refuses to let him go, and uses some derogatory language.
> 
> Thank you for following the story and for the lovely comments! I have some work bizness (blah) so I'm thinking I will post the final chapter this weekend so I have enough time to be truly satisfied with it. Hugs today (and all days).


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The getaway.

Nicky’s meeting with Keane was late and Joe was at the club again, trying not to think too hard about the where and when. He didn’t know the details, better that he knew less, on the off chance someone did try to torture information out of him or kidnap him or something else equally ridiculous, and he distracted himself by making fun of the newbies with Quynh and kicking back a beer between performances. He did notice the extra security around the club, though, and Andy lurking tensely all night in obvious view of the cameras. He tried not to worry about it too much, but it was difficult. Everyone seemed more on edge, obviously noting Nicky's absence and the increased security presence, and Joe was grateful for his friend's attempts to tease him to take the edge off of his nerves.

“You two patched things up, then?” Quynh asked casually, checking her nails. “Cause I’ll cut him. You know this, yes?”

“Yeah, things are good,” Joe said honestly, pleased to be telling them (mostly) the truth now. “We’re good, Nicky’s… good.”

“So how _is_ his dick?” Booker asked, and Joe threw a shirt at him, laughing. He was only slightly buzzed and he didn’t mind the teasing too much now that he wasn't lying through his teeth about it.

“It’s nice,” Joe said, and his cheeks heated ridiculously, because it was definitely true.

Quynh tossed him a smile too, and Joe was struck suddenly with the thought that he couldn’t keep this. Even if he and Nicky stayed here for _years_ —very unlikely at this point— they’d still have to leave this behind.

“Another beer?” Quynh asked, and Joe nodded eagerly, wanting to forget everything.

***

Joe’s face was firmly mashed into his pillow, and it took him quite a long time to realize someone was shaking him. His brain slowly turned on and then suddenly he remembered he had fallen asleep waiting for Nicky to return and he jolted sideways, relief flooding him as he saw Nicky sitting next to him on the bed in the darkness, looking solemn but intact.

“Oh, you’re okay,” Joe breathed, launching himself forwards, only to catch Nicky as he was coming closer, the two of them falling down to the bed. Nicky was gripping him very tightly, his face buried in Joe’s neck before pulling away and kissing him on the forehead.

“You _are_ okay, aren’t you?” Joe said, his concern ratcheting up again.

“I did not die,” Nicky said, one hand sliding down to lace their fingers together. “Keane was—” Here Nicky glanced away, and Joe could barely see his face in the darkness, but he knew what those downturned lips looked like. “He was not as fortunate.”

Joe breathed in, sitting up and then wrapping his arms around Nicky. “I was so worried. So worried you wouldn’t return.”

Nicky turned, putting their foreheads together, looking down at the covers.

“What happened?” Joe asked, though he knew he wouldn’t get much of an answer.

Nicky shook his head, leaning in to kiss Joe chastely. “It was just the two of us at first, as agreed. It did not go well, though. He threatened a lot of people, you and Andromache included. You shouldn’t know more, but the things he's done would sicken you.” Nicky’s expression grew darker, more tense. “He tried to.... Well, it does not matter what he tried. He will not be trying anything again.”

That was more than Joe’d thought he’d get out of Nicky and he swallowed heavily, knowing he trusted him completely to do the right thing and to protect both of them. But still, that didn't mean it had been easy for Nicky to do.

“I need to leave town for a while until this blows over. Andromache can run things in the meantime. She’s clear in all of this; she was at the club watching you all night. Keane’s gone, the remains of his group should move on, and Andy should be able to clean up any loose ends on her own. I’m leaving her with everything.”

Joe nodded, knowing this was coming, though it wasn’t as bad as how he’d thought it would pan out. At least Nicky was alive and they didn’t have to fake their (real) deaths to get away or anything. They could just be… gone for a while.

Nicky turned away again, twisting his hands in the sheets. “Do you still wish to come with me?” he asked, his voice carefully composed. Joe almost wanted to laugh, though he knew it would be insensitive to do so. But how could Nicky still think that maybe there was the smallest scrap of him that couldn’t bear to be separated?

“Nicolò di Genova,” Joe said seriously, grabbing Nicky’s chin and pulling him so their eyes were meeting. “I wish to be with you forever.”

They both leaned in together, their lips crashing into one another, too hard, and salty wet from someone’s tears. Joe wasn’t sure if they were his or Nicky’s. Nicky stopped them, though, after a minute, pulling away and flipping on the lamp on the bedside table. Joe sucked in a breath at the sight of a fresh bruise on the side of Nicky’s face that was already fading, and his ripped and dirty shirt, darkened with mud and what was likely blood.

“I’m fine,” Nicky promised, answering Joe before he could even open his mouth. Joe nodded, pulling Nicky forward one more time to kiss gingerly over his cheek, watching in amazement as the blue-black color slowly faded back to his skin tone around the edges. Nicky smiled softly, pulling Joe’s hands off of him and giving him a brief squeeze before moving to stand.

“Gather what you don’t want to lose,” Nicky said, already heading for the closet and opening it up, pulling out a few things and throwing them onto the armchair at the side of the bed and tugging on a new, clean shirt. “Bring things for warm weather.”

“Where are we going?” Joe asked, dragging himself out of the bed. He’d barely gotten two hours of sleep and his head still felt fuzzy, his limbs heavy.

“It’s best if you don’t know, hayati,” Nicky said, and Joe nodded, knowing this, also thrilling at the pet name he’d taught him.

They packed silently, each only taking one bag. Joe didn’t have much at Nicky’s anyways— just some clothes and one picture frame of his family, and a toothbrush. It was daunting and exciting at the same time.

They pulled away from Nicky’s house as the sun came up, and Joe’s headache began to throb sharply. He laid his head down on Nicky’s shoulder, dozing off and then waking with a snort when the car came to a stop.

He looked around briefly, noting the small runway in the middle of a tree-lined field, and a little plane perched at the edge with no one around. They got out of the car, the grass damp and the air crisp in that early-morning way, and Joe grabbed their bags while Nicky said something to the driver and then they both headed up the short set of stairs.

When they’d settled down in two seats, Joe rested his head against Nicky’s shoulders again, too wired to go back to sleep but absolutely exhausted.

“Just us?” Joe whispered, glancing around; there was only the pilot, Nicky’s driver having left immediately and no other security other than the sidearm strapped to Nicky’s waist and whatever else was hidden in their bags.

“Yes, it is safer that way." The engine was roaring to life already, their hands linking together; Nicky’s was sweaty, the only outward sign that he was worried.

“Still can’t tell me where we’re going?” Joe asked, stifling a yawn though he was now on full alert.

Nicky shook his head. “We will make some switches, my love. Until then you should try and get some rest.”

“Mmmm, can’t,” Joe said, glancing around the plane’s interior. He’d never been on one so small and luxurious before, but it fit Nicky to a T. “It’s a nice plane.”

“There’s a TV,” Nicky said with a chuckle, searching around for the controls while Joe pulled him back down and snuggled closer.

“Champagne?” Joe teased, and Nicky hummed in response, petting along his neck and shoulder and then hugging him close as the plane began to rumble and shudder as they moved down the bumpy runway.

“Anything for you, my heart,” Nicky said. It took a while but Joe managed to sleep until they landed.

***

Two pilots and two plane switches later, including one rickety puddle jumper Joe was sure was going to fall apart as they ascended, and a bumpy boat ride had the two of them pulling up to a gorgeous Mediterranean island. It was late in the evening by that point and Joe felt terrible, jetlagged, and hungry. They took a cab to a small hotel that was well-kept, Nicky doing the talking in a mix of English and another language Joe did not recognize, and then Nicky exchanged some bills for a brass key and they were heading up a narrow staircase to a small room at the end of a hallway.

There was a modest window at one end of their room with a spectacular view of a sunset stretching from the white buildings and long shoreline up to a fading sky. Joe knew he should appreciate it more but he was so exhausted that he fell on the bed, barely registering that Nicky was tucking a blanket over him before fading off to sleep.

***

Weeks passed and Joe barely noticed, lost in a haze of Nicky and the sun and gleaming white buildings and being fed fresh fruit in bed. Every night they passed the time screwing their brains out with the windows open and the sound of the sea lapping at the stone gently lulling them to sleep.

The hotel room grew small so they toured an apartment in the downtown that was too tiny and then a little house tucked into a hill with a gorgeous view of the western side of the island that Nicky obviously loved.

“There’ll be good views of the sunset,” Nicky whispered into Joe’s ear as they stood by the window, the owner pointedly looking away as their hands wandered.

The first day they moved in, Joe laughed with joy at the ants in the kitchen and the chipped coffee cups and the room that Nicky led him into with his hands over his eyes and proudly said could be Joe’s art studio. They spent the evening on the porch overlooking the sea, talking about the supplies Joe would like to buy to fill up the room, and what type of kitchen table would fit the best in the little alcove.

***

“We’re not going back, are we?” Joe said, pushing Nicky’s hair back from his forehead as he balanced above him, ready to sink down onto his cock.

“Porca puttana,” Nicky cursed, holding onto Joe’s thighs and looking up at him reverently. “I will do whatever you want, hayati.”

Joe smiled, sinking down and then throwing his head back as the thick girth of Nicky opened him up. He would never grow tired of this. Never ever in a million years.

Both of their hair was shaggier now, sweat clinging to their bodies as the sea breeze slid through the open window. Their neighbors probably hated them for their constant noisy lovemaking, but neither really cared.

Joe rolled his hips and Nicky groaned, running his hands along the front of Joe’s chest and giving his pecs a firm squeeze before tracing down the lines of his abdomen.

“You’re so gorgeous, Joe,” Nicky said quietly, and Joe flushed, Nicky’s words always making his toes curl. “I knew, I knew from that first night.”

“Hmm, what did you know?” Joe teased, clenching down on Nicky to make him gasp and then reaching down to grab Nicky’s wrists and pin them above his head. The chain Joe wore around his neck was brushing Nicky in the face and Joe scrunched himself down a bit so he could nose along the more full beard Nicky was now sporting.

“That you were it for me,” Nicky said, completely pinned under Joe’s grip, unresisting and his head thrown back in bliss.

“Was it my brilliant dancing?” Joe asked, biting Nicky’s neck and grinding down with his hips. His cock was trapped between their bodies and his precome was making their stomachs slick. It felt amazing, every time.

“Yes,” Nicky said, bucking upwards and searching out Joe’s lips with his own. They pushed against each other, grunting as their hips slapped together. Then Nicky pulled his arms away from Joe’s hands, Joe letting him go easily and then groaning when Nicky tilted Joe’s hips downwards so he could get in even _deeper_. “But your smile, Yusuf. Your _smile_.”

Joe felt a huge grin creep over his face but he buried himself further into Nicky’s neck to hide his blush.

“You sure you don’t just like me for my body?” Joe said, letting out a moan when Nicky got a hand on Joe’s shoulder and then deftly flipped them over. Joe spread his legs, taking Nicky in further, running one hand down the long line of his back and then grabbing his ass to tug him in closer.

“I like all of you,” Nicky said, and Joe closed his eyes, his smile genuine as Nicky held his legs back, fucking in as deeply and slowly as he could.

“Come on, old man,” Joe said with a laugh, grabbing onto Nicky’s ass with both hands to try and get him to speed things up.

“We’ve got all the time in the world,” Nicky said, kneeling up a bit and dragging Joe by the hips until they were flush again.

“Yes,” Joe said easily, smiling so much now that his face hurt. “We do.”

***

“Where’d you get all this money?” Joe asked as Nicky shuffled through a medium-sized wooden box that bore some resemblance to an ancient treasure chest. Nicky had dug it up from deep inside the closet— it was one of only a few things Nicky had brought with them from their old life. The wood was scored and dark, the hinges on it rusty, and Joe couldn’t quite see inside but he definitely saw something _shiny_ as he peaked over Nicky’s shoulder.

“I’ve had many lives before this one,” Nicky said mysteriously, and Joe hmmmed against him, plastering himself up against his back.

“Is that actually gold?” Joe asked, trying not to be too awed as Nicky shifted aside an actual crown to pull an ancient looking fabric pouch out from the bottom. “And treasure? Were you a pirate, Nicolò?”

Nicky didn’t answer, turning to give Joe a brief kiss on the lips without letting his eyes leave the chest.

“How old _are_ you, Nicky? I demand answers,” Joe said, trying to pout and being unsuccessful at pulling Nicky away from his treasure hunt.

Then Nicky opened the pouch slowly, Joe’s draw dropping as a tarnished and intricate silver ring was pulled out, and Nicky turned to him with eyes shining.

“What do you think? Do you like it?” Nicky said, and Joe felt his breath catch in his throat.

“Yes,” he whispered, his eyes growing wet, not caring at all what the ring looked like, only the fact that they were squatting in a closet in their house in Malta and Nicky was looking at him like he hung the moon.

“Will you marry me, Yusuf al-Kaysani?”

“Yes,” Joe said, louder this time, both of their hands shaking as Nicky slipped the ring onto his finger. It was way too loose but Joe didn’t care a lick, surging forward to attack Nicky with kisses, making them fall to the floor. The tile was cool beneath them, both of their eyes wet with tears, and it was a long while until they could break apart, gasping for air.

“Forever?” Joe asked, quietly.

“Forever,” Nicky said back, just as quietly, voice intent.

***

The beach was empty and a bit cool, tourist season having drawn to an end over a month ago so there were less people around, though it was still lovely. They sat on their chairs side-by-side drinking wine and Nicky playing with his phone.

“Ready to make this official?” Nicky asked, looking out to the fading sunset and then turning to smile at Joe with a soft smile that still made his heart race.

“How much more official can you get than putting pirate’s booty on my finger?” Joe felt along the ring, now fitted properly and shined up, pleased as pie to see a matching one on Nicky’s.

“I like your booty,” Nicky quipped, looking adorable as he looked away and then smiled.

“Only if I wear a thong, hm?” It had only been that once, and it had been very late at night, the beach completely deserted. It was a pleasant memory.

“You should wear one, yes. Always,” Nicky said seriously, glancing to Joe. The colors of the sunset made his cheeks a reddish orange, his eyes warm and bright, and he looked stunningly beautiful. Joe was so lucky.

“It’s winter time, habibi. Not gonna happen,” Joe said, fighting to keep the smile from the corners of his lips.

“Well it does not hurt to ask.”

Joe gave in and laughed and then turned away, taking another sip and watching one of the expensive yachts make its way towards the marina slowly.

“What will we do here? We can’t spend an eternity on our honeymoon,” Joe mused, though he wasn’t sure that was true.

“We can spend a while.”

“And after that?”

“We’ll see,” Nicky said.

“I suppose someday we'll need more money again to live. Maybe something a little more safe than a strip club and some mysterious business I still don’t know about?” Joe asked a little ruefully, and the little zing of fear that he would lose Nicky zipped back to life. It was getting less and less each time they woke up together in each other’s arms, though, just the two of them, free and clear and an eternity entwined together stretching ahead of them.

“There was a women’s shelter that needed assistance that I saw in town the other day.”

Joe smiled fully at Nicky, sliding off his chair and crawling over into Nicky’s lap, settling on him heavily and wrapping his arms around his neck. “That sounds like an excellent idea.”

Nicky hummed deep in his chest and Joe leaned forward to kiss Nicky on the nose fondly.

“You should call Andy,” Joe said after a moment, and Nicky nodded, picking up his phone and dialing the number by memory. They’d have to destroy the phone after the call.

Andy picked up after one ring; it was probably near one a.m. where she was.

“Hello Andromache,” Nicky said joyfully, and Joe could only hear Nicky’s half of the call, Andy’s voice a bit muffled over the line, but he could understand most of it from Nicky’s side only.

“Yes, we have decided to retire permanently. Congratulations, you’re the brand new owner of the business!”

There was more muffled talking down the line.

“My husband and I are doing well, thank you. We’re very happy.”

Joe heard something like _Your husband?!_ and he smiled blithely, tucking himself under Nicky’s chin.

“Say hi, Joe!”

“Hi, Joe!” he said obnoxiously, nearly purring when Nicky’s hand disappeared beneath the hem of his long sleeve t-shirt and felt his way up his spine.

“Yes, we will stay in touch when we can,” Nicky promised. “Joe wishes for you to pass on a hello to his friends there.”

Nicky hummed in agreement several times, then ended with, “I will. Thank you.”

And then he hung up, and it was done. Joe knew they would not be seeing them again, but at least this way they knew they were safe, and their friends were taken care of.

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“Just lie here with you, hayati.”

“Yes, a good plan.”

They watched the sunset, and went to bed early, and when they woke in the late morning sunlight with their limbs tangled together, they had no worries except perhaps what was for lunch and whether they should rise to shower or just lie in bed for a good long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please be sure to give [lemon-yellow](https://lemon-yellow.tumblr.com/) a shout-out for their awesome stripper!Joe art, and maybe toss them a [reblog](https://lemon-yellow.tumblr.com/post/639335543273029632/joe-moved-to-pull-the-brim-of-his-backwards-hat) too. :)))

**Author's Note:**

> I am on tumblr as [badwolfbadwolf](http://badwolfbadwolf.tumblr.com)!


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